The Most Misleading Movie Trailer Ever (NSFW)

The trailer you are about to watch is misleading for many reasons.

First and foremost, because it purports to be a sequel to a movie that came out a year prior to its release...from a different country...featuring a different cast...different director...different writers...you get the idea.

The trailer is for a 1980 film from Italy that would have us believe it is a sequel to an American film from 1979.

That film was Alien. Heard of it?

No doubt.

This film? Well, since you asked... Alien 2: On Earth (or Alien 2: Sulla Terra). Watch out, there's lots of foreign blood in this trailer....



You see what they did here?

* Though most of the action takes place in a cave (yes, just like any Turkish science fiction movie), this trailer would have you believe they're all suited up so as to explore an alien planet - just like when the Nostromo crew explored that planet in that last film. Clever, huh?

* The three scenes where aliens burst out of faces and exploded head stumps, and have pulsing POV shots heading towards their victims...THOSE are the only times the alien (or aliens) are seen in the entire film. From the evidence here, though, by golly, you'd think they'd be all over the place! After all, why would a movie trailer blow the whole payroll in a 3-minute trailer? You wanna answer that, trailer for Sister Act? Do ya?

* A few scenes show huge engines and scaffolds and people running around them. You know what that is? Not a spaceship. It's a bowling alley. Any Big Lebowski fan could have told you that. But hey; they had to have something to make you think these spelunking schmoes were in a spaceship at some point.

* Lots of footage from actual NASA rescue/splashdown, spaceships-in-space are shown too, thoroughly unlike anything seen in 1979's Alien, but it's better than that: 'cuz it's REAL! That just gives the whole thing authenticity, don't it?

* Blood, gore, rat attacks, psychic stare-downs leading to exploded heads, everything you'd expect from an Italian movie. Heck, they have this kind of stuff in Italian chick flicks (La Dolce Vita? Dead bodies all over the place!!), so you know that this is gonna be just exactly like Alien! Like I mentioned earlier - they combined the Face-Hugger and the Chest-Burster into a Face-Burster!! BOO-YAH! Take that, Ridley Scott!!

I have this movie, you know (duh). It's nothing like Alien (double duh); it's not even anything like Aliens. I'll review it one of these days though because, much like this trailer, it has to be seen to be believed.

Soon, you will believe.

Dope out.

- TGWD