Foreign Poster Atrocities #13

13! My lucky number!

And favorite silent/invisible partner-in-poster atrocitizing Jeff's number, too.

So now that a new month is at hand, let us get to it!
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JEFF - Pat, I'm afraid I bought too many vowels....

TGWD - Quick! Buy five consonants to offset the effects!

TGWD - Alright; one wrong move and Javier Bardem gets it.

JEFF - No Country for Old Zombies.

TGWD - Finally - we're getting back into movies we've never heard of.

JEFF - Which means the content could be just about anything.

TGWD - Exactly - like this one, plainly, is a movie about gigantic oil well fighters shooting green-skinned zombies who are so laid-back they could care less.

JEFF - Shyeah - go ahead and shoot me. Who cares. Oh, and yeah - braaains...like whatever, man.

TGWD - Now look at zombie Javier's shoulder: he's either going rappelling later or he's one very important doorman at the Ritz.

JEFF - Don't tip him; he'll just bite your hand and you'll end up craving human flesh.

TGWD - And the giant sheriff shooting him while surrounded by fire...that is Bruce Campbell, isn't it?

JEFF - Evil Dead: The Burning Sheriff.

TGWD - The Hellish Adventures of Brisco County Junior.

JEFF - Bruce's not above some zombie-doorman shooting.

TGWD - If the money's right, Bruce is down with it.

JEFF - Deewaar, huh?

JEFF - Like GeeWaar?

JEFF - Or GeeMonney.

TGWD - I'm guessing this is Turkish for "halt" or something.

JEFF - Or it could be some universal word.

JEFF - Like "aloha".

TGWD - Or "Howdy."

TGWD - Or "Stephen King script" - who knows WHAT to expect with that?

JEFF - It could be "zombie", too.

TGWD - Or "giant sheriff".

TGWD - "Javier!"

JEFF - "Stop! Or Bruce Campbell will Shoot Your Zombie!"

TGWD - I don't think so.

JEFF - You don't know; it might very well be that.

JEFF - Translated languages sometimes forgo a lot of words and letters and syllables to get their point across.

TGWD - And so...what's the point of this one?

JEFF - Don't watch it.

TGWD - I can get behind that point.

JEFF - So could Bruce.

TGWD - And Javier.

JEFF - You know what; this kind of puts me in the mind of the first Foreign Poster Atrocity we did many moons ago - with Sonny and Cher at the Day of the Dead festival?

TGWD - I remember that one. Good times.

JEFF - Bad times.

TGWD - Right.

JEFF - This makes about as much sense as that one.

TGWD - It's linear.

TGWD - Not quite as busy, though.

JEFF - Which is a good thing in a giant burning sheriff/zombified doorman/Bruce Campbell/Javier Bardem movie.

TGWD - In the same vein, I could see this one becoming a TV series.

JEFF - But not with Scooby and the Gang.

TGWD - No, no; I'm looking at USA Network summer series. You know, what with their vampire series bandwagon-jumping...why not an escaped fugitives/zombies crossover?

TGWD - We could even get Bruce Campbell in it; he's in that other USA show anyway; just a couple of sound stages down, and he's there!

JEFF - And...it's not like...

TGWD - No!

JEFF - What?

TGWD - Don't say "it's not like he's busy"; if we insult him, his agent'll never talk to us! Then we'll have to settle for Dean Cain!

JEFF - What? Insult Bruce Campbell? The man who starred in Moontrap, Alien Apocalypse and Assault on Dome 4? Insult him?

TGWD - ...

TGWD - Point taken. It's NOT like he's busy.

JEFF - Atta-boy.

TGWD - Look out Javier; you primitive Screwhead, you.

JEFF - Ah-ah-ah...wrong terminology. That was the medieval guys in general, not just the zombies; read your "Evil Dead for Dummies" handbook.

TGWD - My bad.
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Hey, another month is just around the corner; can you handle another one of these in 30 days or so? Yeah? Well, too bad, 'cause that day's a-coming!

Dope (and Jeff) out.

- TGWD