Christian bands who managed to not be pussies or shit part 1

I got no problem with Bad Brains praising Jah, Rakim and Brand Nubian bigging up Allah via 5%er lessons or Al Green singing sweetly to the lord for forgiveness as it generally enhanced their music and overall steez since it added an element of loftier depth their peers lacked.

And when rappers i'm fond of make bible-thumpin' bangers like LL's The Power Of God or pro-Jesus joints like Z-Ro's Happy Feelingz i can somehow overlook that their respective cups runneth over with faggotry and, occasionally, get caught up in the moment like Martin Lawrence in Big Momma's House during the church scene.

Yet when rock/pop groups start talkin' 'bout dat Christianity i purse my lips like they've been pulled with 2 drawstrings in disgust and seethe with the same sort of contempt i only usually experience when a zany student charity worker cunt attempts to accost me in the street.

But, against all odds, there are bizarre exceptions like the God bothering doom-metal group Trouble. Here's a clip of them performing Psalm 9 on a 1982 cable tv show in full hesher-metal glory. The fact someone has added Spanish subtitles to it only enhances it, much like that French-subtitled version of Above The Law's Murder Rap on Youtube. It doesn't hurt having a Jesus resembling member who plays a flying-v guitar either.



If ever there was a song that could be the soundtrack to Vikings pillaging Nordic villages for buxom blond beauties it'd be Psalm 9. I honestly can't think of a bigger oxymoron than Christian doom-metal but they were really one of the first 'Sabbath influenced bands who ran with that style successfully and without Trouble there probably wouldn't be any Danzig or any Kyuss and that, quite frankly, is a world i don't want to inhabit.