T-Minus 19 Days Till My Birthday...

Yes kids, that's right: on the 20th of this month, I shall be yet another year older and, rather than try to hide it from everyone on the internet, I'll just flaunt the passing of another 365 days (366 if it's a leap year) and, in doing so, drop further hints to anyone who may be reading, if they happen to have any of the things I am going to post about that they aren't using...you know, for my birthday and all....

Too materialistic?

Oh well.

For today, I shall ruminate on one of the elusive movies that I have on my want list that I, as of yet, have been unable to grab up. I know it's out there, even if just on a bare-bones DVD (or DVD-R, even), but still want to see it, own it, touch it, feel it, possess it, etc.

And that object of my affection (today) is Dennis Hopper's The Last Movie.


















1971, Universal Pictures. Directed by Dennis Hopper, written by Stewart Stern, produced by Paul Lewis.

I have heard so much, good and bad (mostly bad), about what appears to be an elephantine ego trip by Hopper about a stunt-man from Hollywood who stays in Peru after his movie team leaves and witnesses the townspeople act out their own movie with handmade wood and bamboo film equipment, without the benefit of stunt-men or fake blood.

I've read about it most extensively in that indisposable (if flawed) tome, The Fifty Worst Films Of All Time, and found myself falling hard for a film that, for all its faults and foibles, at least had pretension and a heavy artsy-fartsy attitude going for it. Not to mention several glowing reviews:

Dennis Hopper's infamous ego-trip film... it's as disjointed and unexplainable as a bad mescaline trip, but it does have some scenes that are fascinating in their seemingly unscripted, improvisational style. Everyone seems to be under the influence of various controlled substances, and undoubtedly they were. A classic in the annals of bad cinema!
- Subterranean Cinema

A Hateful Experience....
-Andrew Sarris, The Village Voice

Gaseous and overblown mess...I hope that The Last Movie fails very badly and that it's difficult for Dennis Hopper to get another picture....
-Stanley Kauffmann, New Republic

This movie performs the astounding feat of dying on the screen in the first few minutes, before the credits come on. One would have to be playing Judas to the public to advise anyone to go see The Last Movie.
-Pauline Kael, The New Yorker

An extravagant mess...my mind had a good deal of trouble tolerating the inflated pretensions of Dennis Hopper, who, it's now apparent, is gifted with all the insights of a weekend mystic who drives to and from his retreat in a Jaguar....
-Vincent Canby, New York Times

An embarrassment...an endless, chaotic, suffocating, acid-soaked mess.
-David Denby, Atlantic Monthly

Yeah. I know. Ouch.

But all the same, something that can make others express such violent, oppressive, fire-and-brimstone hatred for such a gangly, seemingly out-of-control and "out-there" project as Hopper's, has to be worth seeing, as well as owning, if just to inflict on friends that I want to teach a lesson to, should they dare to say that they just saw the worst movie ever made. I can chuckle, shake my head slowly and produce THIS little gem.

But, ye of little faith, should you cast a stone and say that, nay, The Last Movie isn't the worst movie ever made, let Dennis' own advertising tell you how it is:




















I want to see it. I want to judge for myself. And so should you.

...but me first.

After all, it's gonna be MY birthday.

See you tomorrow.

Dope out.

-TGWD