Reasons why I love Youtube # 10

To remind yourself just how gay the clean/video version of Cube's Steady Mobbin' is :

Ice Cube - Steady Mobbin'



Tray recently remarked that he prefers the clean version of Captain Save-A-Hoe by E-40 ft. The Click, cunningly retitled Captain Save Them Thoe, and I'm a defender of the clean version of U Understand? by Juvenile myself, due to the new words just sounding a more natural fit and because all the N-bombs have been replaced by whoadies and dem boyz so I can get carried away and quietly rap the song to myself as I listen to it on my headphones taking a piss in the work bathroom without offending one of the black lads who work for the company.

We all have our personal favourite Ice Cube singles, but if Steady Mobbin' isn't in your top 3 then you're either dumb or you must have gotten an incredible blowjob to We Be Clubbin' once and you now love it for sentimental reasons. The problem with the clean version of Steady Mobbin' isn't so much the redone lyrics which fuck up the flow of the song, though they undoubtedly do, but the delivery itself which pretty much strips it of what makes it so great. I think we can all agree that from '87 to '92 Ice Cube as a rapper had THAT certain something - call it attitude or swagger - which made him the hardest rapper out with the possible exceptions of MC Ren and Scarface, yet here he sounds like Talib Kweli; a cojones-less wuss reading from autocue in the exact same milquetoast voice the 2nd pudwhapper in Heathers uses when he timidly tells Kurt and Ram to leave his buddy pudwhapper # 1 alone as they physically abuse him and instruct him to admit that he likes to fellate large phalluses :

"Leave....him....a-lone, Ram!"



What really sticks in my craw here, though, is that the 12" of Steady Mobbin' only includes the clean version, and I still haven't gotten around to picking up that double vinyl pressing of Death Certificate, so I've never had the chance to play Steady Mobbin' out when I've djed. It's the abyss which burns deep within my soul; i feel so incomplete.