The Road To My 100th Review, Part III

Holy carp; what with all this whining and aggrandizing-about, what with wondering how I even got to where I am review-wise, I still haven't decided what it is I should review next.

A movie, ostensibly, but what kind?

Cuz don'tcha see; the kind of movie that I review for my 100th review will forever define who I am and what my site is all about.

If I review the wrong kind of movie - POOF, there goes my credibility.

...

Stop staring at your monitor like that; your face'll freeze that way.

So anyhoo, what shall I review?

A COMEDY? Sure, that's always an easy-out; after all, they make thousands of them a year and the classic ones always bring a smile to my face. However, are there enough really really bad comedies out there to sully my screen with? I know I have yet to touch on the legendary badness of Gigli, the soul-scarring ineptitude of White Chicks, the Bette Midler banality of Jinxed, and the low-budget folderol of Assault of the Killer Bimbos. Like I said, though, comedies are always easy to kick down, especially when they're badly done. Always a possibility, though....

A HORROR MOVIE? I do those all of the time, and the worse the better of course. It would have to be something pretty darned special, seeing as we reach That Magical Number. Maybe Exorcist II: The Heretic, since it has so much going for (or against) it. House of the Dead is a good choice, seeing as I've completely ignored the works of Uwe Boll. Frankenstein Island? Maybe...uh, what? Frankenstein Island??? Hmmm, well....

A SPLATTER? lots of 'em to choose from: Dead Alive, Pieces, Shaun of the Dead (or is that more a comedy?), The Burning, maybe one of the Halloween movies AFTER the first Halloween movie. That would certainly be artless and bloody enough, seeing as I've already done my share of Friday the 13th flicks, thanks anyway.

AN UNRELEASED GEM? One of the many OOP (Out-Of-Print) movies I have in my vast, cobwebby collection? I've got gems the likes of The Boogens, Curse of the Blue Lights, Deadly Prey, Starship Invasions or even Yor: The Hunter From The Future. So many to choose from here, and not very many good ones, either, so any would be a winner in my book.

So as you can see, this isn't simply a matter of just choosing one and going with it. I have to be very picky now, seeing as immortality hinges on my next choice.

Or...maybe I'll just put titles in a hat and draw straws. Either/or.

Well, I'll make a decision before too long.

Of course, if anyone has a suggestion for my 100th review, please throw your hat into the ring and I'll see if it fits.

...Metaphorically.

Dope out.

- TGWD