B-Movies And Partisan Politics

I guess it never really hit me until I was staring at my blank computer screen what turned out to be tonight's topic:

You can't really believe in the magic and power of bad movies without being really really REALLY dedicated to your craft.

I mean, you really have to live and breathe these things. In the big scheme of things, movies are the only escape some of us have and when you watch them, they take you to a place that you could never reach on your own.

Not through Zen.

Not through feng shui.

Not through incense.

Not through Yanni music and lots of herbal tea.

So what is it, then? Why is it that we, the lovers of the collected works of Uwe Boll, find that we must immerse ourselves in the bad of the film world in order to find inner peace?

Because it's a belief, that's why.

We believe above all else that when we watch Hudson Hawk that we are wearing our hearts on our sleeves and declaring to the world that we renounce the works of Meryl Streep. Every time we stare longingly at the latest cover of Fangoria Magazine, we shout at the top of our lungs that we don't care WHAT's on Entertainment Weekly's "Top 10 Films In The Known Universe List". Whenever Plan 9 From Outer Space comes on TV, our world stops, we drop what we're doing and stare transfixed at the pie tins sailing across a slate gray tablecloth because that is our God.

You read this blog (apparently), so you know what my stand on bad movies are (or at least you better know). I would much rather watch one really bad movie than one that tries to enrich my life through human understanding and joining of the races in harmony. NOT when there's a copy of Orgy of the Dead just sitting on my shelf, begging my attention.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that being single-minded about what you like, movie-wise, is as much a choice of lifestyle as what you wear, who you're attracted to and who you vote for. This is about defining who you are and how you feel about yourself when you watch the movies that you watch; and who doesn't feel better about themselves after watching Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster?

What I'm getting at is: when it comes to B-movies, dedication is the key here. Watching them isn't enough - paying attention to them is far more important. Cameron Mitchell's been showing us the way to better living for years. Have we paid attention, watchers of Oscar fodder? I think not.

There is a shelf full of movies by my desk that I not only enjoy, but watch and analyze constantly to the point where I think I should get some kind of government grant for what I'm writing about them here. I love movies, and the worse the better. And whether people admit to it or not, most of us secretly harbor a love of the B-movie in our hearts and souls. It's just something about overwrought acting and bad effects and miniature sets that brings out the best in humanity and makes us care more about what's on screen.

Does this make me some sort of militant, who would rather force the dreck of Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and Lollywood on my fellow man than those prestigious indy films that tug at our heartstrings and win lotsa awards? If so, then call me TheGreatWhiteCheGuevara, because I guess I pretty much am.

I guess that's all I have to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch a little bit of Turkish Rambo before turning in.

Good night, and Dope out.

- TGWD