Martorialist 2008 awards part 1

The music edition.

The Game-Recognise-Game award :
* Jay Z in Manchester *



Not so much Jockin' Jay Z as Jocked by Jay Z with Hov' pointing right at the section Sha' Deezy and I were in during the "and, you, the customers" line in Roc Boys. The homie from Brooklyn clearly recognised that some stand-up gentlemen were up in the place that night. Fuck Marcy projects - we from the smokey, son.

The So Wrong But So Right award :
* Amy Winehouse *



The more cracked-out she becomes and the more she begins to resemble a Spitting Image puppet hybrid of Dot Cotton and Bet Lynch, the more i want to make sweet luuurrrrrve to her or, at the very least, stick my tongue in her bony stank asshole.

The Thank Fuck! award :
* Supreme Bad Brains Roir Sessions tee *




I was born to roll in a yellow Bad Brains Roir Sessions shirt but thou shalt never wear a shirt featuring Rasta colours if thou is a wet dog smelling whiteboy so i was shit outta luck until Supreme released this shirt with subtle Roir Sessions referencing that only the higher echelon amongst us will get and precisely zero rasta colours. In-your-face, Bob Marley!

Martorialist Approved 2008 tunes :

OutKast ft. Raekwon - Royal Flush
ABN - Umm Hmm
Z-Ro - 25 Lighter
Trae ft. Slim Thug - Nuthin' 2 A Boss
P. Brothers ft. Boss Money - Cold World
E40 - Earl
Sick Wid It Umbrella - Showin' Out
AZ - Dead End
Laroo ft. The Jacka - 20 Bricks
The Jacka - Cocaine Race
AP.9 - Snitch's Worst Nightmare
The Jacka & Berner - Keep It Street
Maino - Role Model
Lil' Wayne - A Milli
Cam'Ron - Pass Tha Dutchie
Byrd Gang ft. Styles P - Hawaii 5.0
Max B - Lip Sing
Pete Rock ft. Jim Jones & Max B - We Roll
Young Jeezy - Circulate
Lil' Boosie - In My Hood
Heltah Skeltah - Da Art Of Disrespekinazation
Rock ft. Sean Price - Fuck Dat Rapper
Killer Mike - Belly Of The Beast
Suga Free - Allergic To Bullshit
Mickey Factz - Incredible
Yelawolf - Boyz In The Woodz
Peedi Crakk - Pimp Ya Pen
State Property - Oceans Seven
All $tar - Keep Doing My Thang
Curren$y - The Reagan Era
Blaq Poet - Don't Give A Fucc
Soulja Boy ft. Gucci Mane & Yo Gotti - Shopping Spree
Haystak - Hell Naw
Bun B - Getcha Issue
Devin The Dude - Bad Company
Wale ft. Lil' Wayne - Nike Boots remix
Fabolous - I Don't See Nobody
J-Stalin - Cocaine Cowboys
Wiz Khalifa ft. Kev Da Hustla & S Money - Head To The Sky
Big Noyd - Heartless
Prodidy Of Mobb Deep - Dirty New Yorker

The Why You Wanna Do That, Luv, Huh? award :
* Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl *



It's bad enough any pub or club you go in has at least 4 groups of silly fake-bisexual bints who've never treated pussy like a dog treats a plastic toy in their life pretending to be lesbians and snogging each other for Myspace pix but now these stupid annoying bitches have an actual anthem which they insist on singing along with and dancing around their handbags to as well. Yeah, thanks for that, sweetheart.

The Joey Deacon award :
* Eli Porter *



The front-tuck is the best, maaaaaayyyyyyyyne, it diiiiddddddd it. I'm sick of dudes like Weezy claiming to be king-retard just because he's allegedly rotted his brain with syrup and yayo when we've now got a genuine spacko like Eli P rappin' and herbin' muthafuckers in mc battles. Know your role and shut your mouth, Wayne.

The Dearly Departed award :
* Isaac Hayes *



Pete Doherty is still alive yet since last december we've lost Pimp C, Frosty Freeze and, most importantly, Isaac Hayes. Shit ain't fair, right? My man rocked dookie rope chains before anyone else, made some of the best soul albums ever and without him countless rap classics by Biggie, Public Enemy, Geto Boys, MF Doom, Jay Z and Compton's Most Wanted simply wouldn't exist. R.I.P.