1. Kirstie Alley - Found rambling and incoherent in a Hollywood green room today, Ms. Alley was flinging Ho-Hos at stage workers, screaming, "Don't any of you remember 'Cheers'??? I was in that! And that one talking baby movie thing? With what's-is-name...Tony Danza! I was in that too!" Tranquilizer darts were eventually used an she was successfully drugged and wrestled to the ground. Ms. Alley is expected to make a full recovery, but 27 Ho-Hos lost their lives. A call to Hostess Snack Cakes Inc. was not immediately returned.
2. Christina Aguilera - After finding herself amid wan reviews for Burlesque, Ms. Aguilera swore she would scour Hollywood over, determined to find more scripts about a small, anorexic woman who is gifted with an abnormally large mouth. She hinted an 'Ally McBeal' reboot was "a possibility".
3. Kevin James - His newest movie still to be released in theaters this summer, James is hard at work on his next film. Its tentative title is Big Fat White Guy Stumbles Around And Falls Over A Lot.
4. Emmylou Harris - Still looking for her long black hair she had around 1981, no luck yet.
5. PlayStation Network - Soon to launch on its own transponder, The Playstation Network already has a full programming slate with such first-run broadcasts as "Crash Bandicoot and Kathie Lee Show", "Cooking with Parasite Eve" and "The MacNeil/Busby News Hour". Commercial spots, consisting of nothing but Playstation games, are set for the next seven years.
6. Carrie Underwood - In her constant insistence to be considered "relevant", Ms. Underwood is launching a major-city concert tour with Metallica. Her opening act will be that "Chocolate Rain" guy.
7. Silvio Berlusconi - The Italian Name Depository in Santa Victoria, Italy, has reported that the name 'Silvio Berlusconi' somehow made its way past their usually rigid series of plausible ethnicity tests and was handed out to fifteen unsuspecting indiiduals. These individuals are urged to call the Depository immediately to return these names, where they will be replaced with better names like 'Antonio Marcello' and 'Luciano Pavoratti'.
8. Back pain - What do Dolly Parton, Kayla Kleevage and that guy who carried a baby ox 500 yards all have in common? Read the story here:
9. Taliban tunnel - EuroDisney announced its latest ride in their Adventure Land today. The unveiling ceremony was poorly attended this morning and lines were distressingly small throughout the day. Many of the visitors favored such exhibits as the French White Flag Rally and the Switzerland Cheese Flume.
10. Skin care - Doctors agreed that a regular regimen of moisturizing, vitamins and UV ray protection improves skin health far better than their former mandated health plan entitled, "Sandpaper, Tanning Booths and Nude Beaches: The Skin Care Wave Of The Future".
2. Christina Aguilera - After finding herself amid wan reviews for Burlesque, Ms. Aguilera swore she would scour Hollywood over, determined to find more scripts about a small, anorexic woman who is gifted with an abnormally large mouth. She hinted an 'Ally McBeal' reboot was "a possibility".
3. Kevin James - His newest movie still to be released in theaters this summer, James is hard at work on his next film. Its tentative title is Big Fat White Guy Stumbles Around And Falls Over A Lot.
4. Emmylou Harris - Still looking for her long black hair she had around 1981, no luck yet.
5. PlayStation Network - Soon to launch on its own transponder, The Playstation Network already has a full programming slate with such first-run broadcasts as "Crash Bandicoot and Kathie Lee Show", "Cooking with Parasite Eve" and "The MacNeil/Busby News Hour". Commercial spots, consisting of nothing but Playstation games, are set for the next seven years.
6. Carrie Underwood - In her constant insistence to be considered "relevant", Ms. Underwood is launching a major-city concert tour with Metallica. Her opening act will be that "Chocolate Rain" guy.
7. Silvio Berlusconi - The Italian Name Depository in Santa Victoria, Italy, has reported that the name 'Silvio Berlusconi' somehow made its way past their usually rigid series of plausible ethnicity tests and was handed out to fifteen unsuspecting indiiduals. These individuals are urged to call the Depository immediately to return these names, where they will be replaced with better names like 'Antonio Marcello' and 'Luciano Pavoratti'.
8. Back pain - What do Dolly Parton, Kayla Kleevage and that guy who carried a baby ox 500 yards all have in common? Read the story here:
9. Taliban tunnel - EuroDisney announced its latest ride in their Adventure Land today. The unveiling ceremony was poorly attended this morning and lines were distressingly small throughout the day. Many of the visitors favored such exhibits as the French White Flag Rally and the Switzerland Cheese Flume.
10. Skin care - Doctors agreed that a regular regimen of moisturizing, vitamins and UV ray protection improves skin health far better than their former mandated health plan entitled, "Sandpaper, Tanning Booths and Nude Beaches: The Skin Care Wave Of The Future".
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