Is There Something I'm Not Getting About Will Ferrell?

Okay, THIS guy.

Apparently, he's supposed to be the funniest thing on the planet since Charlie Chaplin trod the Earth amongst us mere mortals. An alumnus of "Saturday Night Live", star of many big comedy movies and, for a while, a pretty dependable box-office draw.

People seem to like Will, if not love him.

So, what is it about hm that seems to grate on me like five-penny nails on a chalkboard?

I had to think about this for awhile and, though I think there are answers that have yet to be discovered, I have presented here a few answers to why I believe Will Ferrell is unwarranted as a comedic icon.

1) THE MAN-CHILD CARD IS WEARING THIN - Yeah, I know; it's sooo cute and everyone thinks that he's at his best when playing an infant in a giant goof's body. But I've witnessed the same thing in movies like Elf, Old School, Kicking and Screaming, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, A Night at the Roxbury, Blades of Glory and Step Brothers: Will Ferrell playing it immature. Ha-ha. I'd call it typecasting only I don't think he's really stretching it that much; just changing the names and looks of who he plays in each movie. The song, as Robert Plant says, remains the same. And by the time Land of the Lost came out, I think it was a given that it would be a disaster...even if it didn't cost a bazillion dollars in special effects. Everyone's starting to see through the act, methinks.

2) STOP SCREAMING! - What is it with yelling the punchlines at the top of your lungs? Making it louder doesn't make it any funnier, only more annoying. I couldn't stand Will's shrill screams that came in practically every single part he's had in every movie he's been in, and I knew they were coming. The writers seem to put them in when he joins the cast, like it's an automatic thing. Even if it doesn't bother some people, it sure bothers me. Comedy isn't about who can be the loudest - but who can be the funniest. Maybe someone needs a remedial course on that.

3) THAT DISTANT HAZE IN HIS EYES CONCERNS ME - He always seems otherwise occupied when he's on screen. That stare that goes off into space, kinda glossy and just out there over the horizon. Couple that with a low brow and you have a curly-headed co-star for those Geico cavemen. What's worse is that it seems to be - follow me on this - part of his "charm". This is that whole Will Ferrell thing is; a combination of off-putting physical abnormalities that force the viewer to concentrate on him. You know: like Pauly Shore's stoned eyes, Chuck Conners' oddly-square head, that woman in California who's had plastic surgery so her face looks like a cat. This is all in the same boat as Will's confused little stare. Brrr....

4) DOES HOLLYWOOD LIKE HIM OR TOLERATE HIM? - That's another thing that's been bothering me. Ever since movies tanked like Semi Pro and Land of the Lost, Tinseltown seems to have fallen out of love with the Big Blank One. No longer pulling in the numbers he did with movies like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Elf, Will is kind of wavering as far as Hollywood's radar goes. Is it me or has he been in a lot more small projects and web things anymore? And not much else in the last year or so? I'm aware that he has some bigger projects coming up right now, but is this a matter of self-imposed exile or exile because no one else wants him? And even those little web things aren't as funny as you might think.

But the biggest thing about Will is this:

5) HE'S JUST TOO DARNED UNSYMPATHETIC - Have you seen this: no matter what kind of a movie it is or what part he plays, Will manages to make it so distant and so whiny and so overly-big-babyish and so intolerable that any trace or hope of a good performance is long gone. It's a shame, since maybe one or two films that he doesn't practice this in seem to work - where he's supposed to be unsympathetic to begin with. Otherwise, who needs a distant elf, a crabby basketball player or a self-absorbed high school professor who finds a lost civilization?

I'm well-aware that this qualifies as a rant, and so there it goes; a tag suggesting same. I fully expect to get messages and mail from the Will Ferrell supporters out there, telling me what an idiot I am for not supporting their boy and how I need to get my funny bone checked. Whatever; I just don't want to follow the sheep to the box office every time Will makes another movie. I guess I just can't let myself be entertained by him.

Oh well; there's always Chris Rock.

Dope out.

- TGWD