Foreign Poster Atrocities #11

It's that time of month again!

No no, don't run and hide - I'm not female.

But it is time to gripe and moan about our select foreign movie artwork for the month.

Some chocolate may help the situation, though.

And now, we begin, with help from Harvey the Rabbit's best pal Jeff:

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TGWD - In space, no one can hear you grin.

JEFF - These two seem to be pretty happy about turning purple.

TGWD - No wonder; they made it in time for the fireworks, looks like.

JEFF - In space, no one can hear Roman candles.

TGWD - And is this supposed to be the first Alien movie? If so, I think they got the poster design wrong.

JEFF - What a shock.

JEFF - Wait; we're only taking for granted this is for an Alien movie - there's no "I" in the title.

TGWD - It's Alen.

JEFF - In space, no one can hear you misspell a simple five-letter word.

TGWD - Maybe Alen's the name of the poster's artist.

JEFF - Wow. He's a freakin' Al Hirschfeld.

TGWD - Alen B. Mistake.

TGWD - Alen McFumbleCrayons.

TGWD - Alen O'Savant.

JEFF - Alen, the Amazing Artist Who Doesn't Look at the Canvas When He Paints.

TGWD - See, I can draw, I have crayons this color. Why can't I get the cushy job Alen has?

JEFF - Connections; it's all about connections.

JEFF - If my daddy owned Teshie Video I could do the same thing Alen does.

TGWD - And better.

TGWD - Back to this poster, I'm only guessing one of these women is Sigourney Weaver.

JEFF - But since this doesn't have the word "Resurrection" anywhere in it, it would almost HAVE to be the first one.

JEFF - Which makes the other woman...oh...whatsername. You know: her.

TGWD - Yeah, that one lady.

JEFF - The other one who was...not Sigourney Weaver.

TGWD - Yeeeeaaaah...and she was in that other movie.

JEFF - The one that wasn't an Alien movie.

TGWD - Right. It had her and that...that guy.

JEFF - It was set in that... place!

TGWD - That's the one; and they had to do that thing.

TGWD - At that time.

JEFF - Or they couldn't save the orphanage.

TGWD - Oh. I don't think I saw that one.

JEFF - Me neither.

JEFF - And I sure haven't seen this one.

TGWD - It's okay; neither did Alen.

JEFF - Maybe that's his hand down in the corner holding the knife.

TGWD - Ready to cut the purple umbilical cord connecting Sigourney I and Sigourney II's faces.

TGWD - Waitaminiit - that face at the top...see how long it is?

JEFF - Yeah...kinda like....

TGWD - Uh-huh. Say it.

JEFF - That's Ron Perlman, isn't it?

TGWD - There we go; It is an Alien Resurrection poster.

JEFF - Man, I hate it when the artist makes you GUESS which movie it is you're going to see.

TGWD - Save the concept art for PRE-production, not post.

JEFF - Or better yet, just put up a blank piece of paper and let the audience draw their own movie poster.

TGWD - Worked for Showgirls.

JEFF - Oh, Alen....

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Until another month, another poster and another country's artist to ridicule, Dope (and Jeff) out.

- TGWD