Friday the 13th Part 3 - In 3D (1982)

You know, I take a lot of crap for my love of bad films.

Really? Do go on...

Many of you may remember my friend I mentioned in the last two reviews for the first two Friday the 13th films, the one who watched the first couple for their artistic aesthetic. Her. Well, it seems that she was talking about how her son is now writing a movie script (like everyone's friend's son is doing anymore), and he suggested that I may like it.

She then asked him if the movie he was writing was any good.

He scoffed and told her that it was (naturally).

To which she said that I probably wouldn't like it then because I, quote, "only like bad movies!", end quote.

For as much as that statement stung, though, there was no way I could deny it because, unfortunately, she's seen this blog and knows already what kind of movies I have watched. Can't deny it - I like bad movies.

So what then does it say about my friend (hey again, friend: mentioned you three times so far!) that she insists the Friday the 13th films have merit because they, according to her, provided the viewer with their daily requirement of sleaze with a few healthy doses of art for art's sake.

I disagree. Of course.

After all, I have not only seen these movies, I have studied them, looked them over and went through them with a fine tooth comb, if only to consider what the public-at-large's fascination with this genre is. It's not rocket science here; this isn't even a balsa wood plane with a rubber band.

With that in mind, let us now delve into Friday the 13th Part 3 then, which not only marks a turning point in the "development" (snicker) of the "story" (snort), but also a period in which something else besides the killer reared its ugly head.

But first, let me describe the plot...

Uh...no.

No, I won't do it.

Why should I explain the same plot over and over again? Mad killer chases teens. Period. You already know stupid teenagers are going to go camping around abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. You already know that Jason is going to show up and kill 98% of them. You know there will be at least one cheap shock during the film's running time - there's always at least one in films like these. Even the kids all look alike, and none of them make an impression - as far as I know, they were cast just to hold time until Jason makes his appearance.

A few things were different this time around, though.

Notice I didn't say better. Just different.

For the first thing, this film was presented in 3D. You know; one side of your glasses were red, the other blue, look at the screen - it's coming at ya! 3D! Why? In the early Eighties, 3D films were going through a renaissance of sorts. Seems that just about every other movie was being released in this format. Seemed to be most effective in horror and sci-fi movies than anything else (well, pornos used 3D too, for different effects of their own, but anyway...) and they usually turned out as well in the early Eighties movies as they did the movies of the Fifties.

Sticks, yo-yos, marijuana ciggies, harpoons and eyeballs thrust their way towards the viewer at different intervals. Not that it makes any difference in what you see, but there it is. (sarcasm) What a difference a generation makes, huh? (/sarcasm)

For another thing, THIS is the film in which our boy Jason gets his trademark hockey mask. For reasons too obscure to note one of the teens, a chubby movie effects-obsessed loser named Shelly (Larry Zerner), tries to scare/elicit sympathy by getting cheap scares from his compatriots with fake head wounds, jumping out every now and then and, yes, emerging from beneath a dock at the lake wearing a hockey mask and carrying a harpoon gun. Yes, Shelly gets his and Jason picks up the pieces for his own use. Good thing those masks are one-size-fits-all.

And for one more thing, for a Friday the 13th movie, this one is pretty (relatively) light on the gore. Of course, many scenes got trimmed so it could at least earn its R-rating, but what was left seems to play up the shocks more than they do the gore. Not that the shocks are as shocking as one would expect; after all, this series is trying to out-giallo the Italian giallos, only the makers are American and don't have the slightest idea what they are doing. But I've harped on that before.

Besides which, I bet Tom Savini was kind of depressed that his work was being cut more here than the teens were being. Cut, that is.

I guess it kind of helps that this was initially made as a 3D movie; at least that way director Steve Miner and writers Carol Watson and Martin Kitrosser were forced to find ways to set up scenes and camera angles to thrust various things at the viewer and make directorial choices so as to play up their old/new technology.

See, if they'd only worked on that angle more and played down the same old thing done the same old way, maybe this is one sequel that would have given hope to the jaded viewer that things were turning around for what would turn out to be a long slog of a series.

No such luck, however. Making almost $37 million on a budget of $4 million and starting well on their way to making their boy iconic, Paramount Pictures knew they had a cash cow on their hands and didn't want it to run dry, so to speak. Should it come as a shock to find that they would do everything in their power to insure that the best-laid investments of mice and men would not go awry?

But how about investing in some decent story-telling this time around? They came oh-so-close to delving into Jason's mother fixation in Part 2 when Jenny (Amy Steel) was thinking aloud of what Jason must feel like, having witnessed his mother's murder and now struggling to fend for himself in a harsh, unforgiving world where feral survival and rage was all he knew...Eh, screw it: let's just set that up as a cheap gimmick later so she can wear his mom's old sweater to trick the big dumb murderous oaf.

Psychological intricacies are not what this series is all about. Teenagers, sharp weapons of death and the two meeting up are what this series is all about.

Like I said at the beginning, I do take crap for the movies I enjoy watching, but then there are some good examples that what I do enjoy is worth calling crap. Friday the 13th Part 3 is a good reason for me to just ditch the whole bad-movie-loving schmeal and stick instead to reviewing Citizen Kane and Once Upon A Time In America.

But no; I will not be taken down by a series that has more staying power than The Flutie Curse. I will continue and persevere. I will make my stand against Jason, no matter how many awkwardly-staged 3D effects scenes he throws at me. No matter how many awkward-looking teen bodies are flung at me. No matter how many hardcore fans wave their machetes at me and demand that I retract every word I've said thus far against their hockey-masked "hero".

This is more than a stand against bad taste and poor judgment; this is a rally against incompetent film-making providing the basis of a whole genre of films that take out decent writing and characters we care about and adding as much violent gore against teens as possible and cramming it into one movie.

And no, that's not being unfair. For this series, and for as slight as Part 3 is, it is wholly fair and completely telling.

The best way to put it: for a film with as much 3D as Friday the 13th Part 3 - In 3D has, it's still flat.

Hey, maybe I only do like bad movies. But even I have my limits.