Under The Rainbow (1981)

Contrary to what some people may believe, you can NOT go home again.

And nowhere is that more true than in the world of movies.

Take, for example, the mythology behind the classic film The Wizard of Oz. Surely there are those of us who have heard all the stories about a disgruntled munchkin committing suicide while the cameras were rolling in one scene, another story concerning Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album synching almost perfectly with the first moments of the film, another about the wild orgies the munchkins had at the hotel they stayed at, Buddy Ebsen's allergy to the Tin Wodsman makeup that forced him out of the role so that....

What's that?

You didn't KNOW about the munchkin orgies? Come on, it's the stuff of legend! Why do you think Judy Garland turned to heavy drugs later in life?

Okay, maybe there isn't a lot of validity to the orgy stories, but someone must have believed in it for that particular urban legend to stick around as long as it has. So much so that it was even the basis of a movie. And not just any movie, but the very movie I'm about to lay into.

Before I do, though, remember what I said about not being able to go home again? Once upon a long time ago (late '82), HBO played the heck out of the movies they got hold of - two, maybe three times a day at the very least, just to wring every entertainment dollar out of their purchase. How else could they get to where they are today - a huge movie channel that shows the same thing two, maybe three times a day?

Which brings us back to Under The Rainbow, one of HBO's acquisitions they played the ever-living bejebus out of in its run on the network. Being a mere sprat of a teenager when it first was out, the ads I saw for it were kind of funny in an immature kind of way and it seemed to play up the kind of nostalgic all-out farce that Steven Spielberg's 1941 aimed so low for. After all, 1981 was the year that celebrated the low-brow. After all, this was also the year that Stripes, Going Ape!, S.O.B. and Zorro The Gay Blade came to be, adding just as much if not more locker room fodder for all the immature adolescents of the land.

But Under The Rainbow was even more than a mere adolescent romp through cliches, stereotypes and offensive jokes; this was a history lesson.

The movie is set in 1938. It is the Depression - a time of famine and financial desolation across the face of America. Still, everyone had big dreams, even a person of diminutive size like Rollo Sweet (Cork Hubbert); he knew there was more to his life than being in the middle of nowhere. And as he was so fond of saying (even though he only says it maybe two times in the whole 90+ minutes of this film), "There's no dream too big, and no dreamer too small". So he determines to go find his fame and fortune in Hollywood, one way or another.

There are other things in his way, however: a Nazi plot to sabotage the homeland defense (formulated by no less than Hitler himself), a ruler of a foreign land marked for assassination by a mad Italian killer and the descent of 150 little people into Hollywood and their subsequent destruction of a single hotel within 24 hours of their arrival. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that there are not only the deaths of several Japanese businessmen, but also of a handful of dogs - all for the sake of comedy go they.

The last time I saw Under The Rainbow was in 1983 at a friend's house and, sure enough, I was at the right age (TEENage) to find the jokes funny and the people in it as master farceurs. This was, in my estimation, the best movie. Ever.

And now, having watched it again after such a long time, I realize what a stupid young man I was.

Chevy Chase plays a government agent tagged to protect the visiting Austrian dignitary (Joseph Maher - the evil doctor from Charles Bronson's forgettable The Evil that Men Do) and his wife (Eve Arden - yes, Our Miss Brooks) from attack, mainly from a sinister yet bad luck-prone assassin (Robert Donner - remember Exidor from "Mork and Mindy"?). And even though Chevy's film work was heavy and often in the early '80s, it was more often in thin, unfunny drivel like this and Modern Problems, Oh Heavenly Dog!, Deal of the Century and such. He doesn't even do anything typically "Chevy" herein; just kind of acts like a bland straight man. It was just a year before, you may recall, he was in the vastly underrated Neil Simon comedy Seems Like Old Times. Now, THAT was a comedy. In Rainbow, Chevy just kind of stands there, tired and disinterested.

Carrie Fisher co-stars as a Hollywood lower-level type who must wrangle the newly-arrived dwarves and midgets until filming commences. In one of her first few post-Star Wars roles, Carrie is actually sunny and charming in her role. So much so, you almost kind of ignore that fact that she and "romantic interest" Chevy have no chemistry together whatsoever. But no wonder; he doesn't display that much personality here. Back to Carrie: her main contribution to the movie (and anyone of the right age who's seen Rainbow will tell you the same) is that she spends several minutes of screen time in a bra and panties. A prepubescent dream to those of us who missed her gold bikini appearance on "Saturday Night Live" a couple of years prior to this film. And besides her character being otherwise underwritten other than "sprite" or "perky", Carrie didn't have a whole lot to work with, or against, or alongside...you get the idea.

Pity poor Billy Barty, who plays a diminutive Nazi spy out to set the nefarious anti-American plot into motion. Talking like a Katzenjammer kid and overplaying broadly (and entertainingly) like he does, he is still the victim of several "short" jokes (more on that in detail later). This from the man who not only founded The Little People of America Inc. - a foundation for the greater public knowledge and social acceptance of dwarfs - but was also a tireless promoter of a positive image of small people in general: herein fodder for the kind of jokes he was striving to not make acceptable. Under The Rainbow was not the film to help him promote his cause; it was more like an opiate for the masses.

Oh, but short people aren't the only minorities to be given the short shrift. The Japanese stereotypes run almost as rampant, what with a busload of vacationing Japanese men dropped off in the middle of things, taking pictures and replacing their "L"s with "R"s when convenient to the humor necessities of the plot. Even respected Japanese actor Mako, as a Japanese spy, doesn't get to do much more than follow along and be as insulted and insulting as everybody else.

Then there are more than any movie's share of insulting jokes towards women, Italians, black people, tall people, rich people, drunk people and sheep-molesters. The only thing that's been missed is jokes about homosexuals, but they're probably saving that footage for the extras on the never-to-be DVD release.

I mentioned Cork Hubbert earlier - in reality, this is supposed to be his story; the kid from the small town trying to make his way in Hollywood and be the star he knew he could be. And to his credit, Cork really gave it his all and, in the first few minutes, actually did create a character that was more or less believable, sympathetic and respectable. Alas, this is a comedy and certain things must be sacrificed at the Altar of Laffs. And one of them was the hard work that Cork went to to make his character. In the end, he is just another funny little person looking cute and trying to do "big" things like drive a horse carriage, duel Barty in a sword fight and run around. A lot.

Which brings me to the main contribution of ALL the little people in Under The Rainbow. They are basically seen as a mob; they march onto the screen, devatstate, act lewd when called on by the script (which is often), run around wildly then repeat the cycle for the next scene. Only Cork and Barty stand out from the crowd, but only because they had the most face time in what amounts to a miniature cattle call.

Like I said, when I was younger, Under The Rainbow was a very very funny movie. After I discovered "sophistication" and was ushered into the school of "political-correctness", I looked back and re-evaluated much of what I found humorous in my youth. This movie turned out to be a casualty and was then more or less purged from my memory - for the moment.

Now having seen it again, I can honestly say that, memories notwithstanding, there were a few amusing moments here and there that didn't completely insult my sensibilities or make me feel guilty for laughing. Still, the uncomfortable moments are there, both in terms of comedy as well as acting in general. I guess Under The Rainbow isn't out on DVD for a reason.

As impossible as it is to go home again, at least there is consolation in the fact that in watching a movie as irresponsible as this, you'll be enticed to move forward than look back. In anger, in this case.

...or maybe more appropriately in short temper.