A Trailer In The Meantime...

S'up?

I'm right in the middle of writing my next series of reviews for the ol' blogeroo, kids, but since I'm not the kind to leave you in the lurch without anything new to read for a long time (yeah, right...) I thought it only fair to leave you a link to a movie trailer that is, without a doubt, one of the best and the funniest I have ever seen - and it's for a horror movie.

No debate that Alfred Hitchcock was THE Master of Suspense (his official title, no less) and most all of his films reflect such. No one else was ever so effective at making people in general afraid to take a shower. But he was also a self-effacing old boy and never one to shy away from the darkest of humor, both behind and in front of the camera.

In fact, many enjoy the trailers that Hitch himself would be featured in, talking about his upcoming motion picture of the moment. Certainly anyone who has watched "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" can attest that he did indeed have a good sense of humor and a certain ease in front of an audience, whether in a movie theater or in front of their TV at home.

Here, then, is a link to what, I think, is the best movie trailer ever. Bar none.

Hope this tides you over till next review.

Dope out.

-TGWD

vogue italia june 2007

yo, maybe I should start reading vogue italia instead this anna wintour-dictator shitbomb that is american vogue. how did I miss this amazing editorial? (even though it has my arch nemisis, agyness deyn laura hollins in it) (but it also has my love, lara stone)




it's from a dumb idea ("supermodels go to rehab") but some of the shots came out beautiful and inspired! from this:

vogue italia june 2007

yo, maybe I should start reading vogue italia instead this anna wintour-dictator shitbomb that is american vogue. how did I miss this amazing editorial? (even though it has my arch nemisis, agyness deyn laura hollins in it) (but it also has my love, lara stone)




it's from a dumb idea ("supermodels go to rehab") but some of the shots came out beautiful and inspired! from this:

Martorial elegance # 10

Here at The Martorialist we have a fondness for the curious breed of metallers who reside in a self-imposed bubble where nothing in the respective worlds of fashion and music existed before 1988 and nothing of note has happened since 1993.



Around 25% of the begrudging respect we have for the particular strain of metallers that this ham 'n' egger epitomises is due to a vague sense of comaradarie as we also rocked snow-camo kecks way back in 1990 as a Public Enemy obsessed young 'uns.

Another 25% of the reason why we hold this type of metaller in such favourable regard is accounted for because the 1989 to 1993 vacuum they inhabit actually was a pretty great era for metal.

But the main 50% of our slightly-involuntary appreciation for them is built up on a foundation of admiration that they just do not give a fuck if it's colder than Robert Mugabe's heart outside with The Thing type Antarctic degree conditions because NOTHING is going to stop them getting their cankles out via the help of their 3/4 length cut-off camo shorts. One can only applaud such bloody minded dedication to their aesthetic.

It's a cold world so the rest of all y'all bitch whiggaz best dress warm. Ain't shit changed since '93.

Souls Of Mischief - '93 Til Infinity

I'm at work, are you?

this is an awesome blog -- it's called I'm at work, are you?


people send in their doodles that they make at work and the blog posts them. it is pretty new but I can see it just getting better and better



if I had a job I would totally doodle and send things in.

I'm at work, are you?

this is an awesome blog -- it's called I'm at work, are you?


people send in their doodles that they make at work and the blog posts them. it is pretty new but I can see it just getting better and better



if I had a job I would totally doodle and send things in.

klaus?

style.com is saying gaultier's newest collection is all about money, but i think it's about nomi! (if you say that out loud it's a pun. sort of. i'm clever.)

FYI this is klaus nomi and i love him. but actually he copied his little suit from david bowie, i wish i knew who originally designed it.

klaus?

style.com is saying gaultier's newest collection is all about money, but i think it's about nomi! (if you say that out loud it's a pun. sort of. i'm clever.)

FYI this is klaus nomi and i love him. but actually he copied his little suit from david bowie, i wish i knew who originally designed it.

cakes for your ears

this is a song and little vid by our friend thecockandbullkid. and by friend i mean that i have been to 2 parties she was at and said 'oh my god your stunning' and then ran away. but she is friends with some of my friends, for real.

this is actually her older video, but i am more into this one than the other one as an introductory sampling of her jamz. except that why didn't anyone ask me to style it and why didn't anyone ask miss knomes to make the cake? mother fuckers.

here is her myspace if you'd like to check her out. she wears some nice outfits and i also really enjoyed her live show. but i still could be her stylist.

cakes for your ears

this is a song and little vid by our friend thecockandbullkid. and by friend i mean that i have been to 2 parties she was at and said 'oh my god your stunning' and then ran away. but she is friends with some of my friends, for real.

this is actually her older video, but i am more into this one than the other one as an introductory sampling of her jamz. except that why didn't anyone ask me to style it and why didn't anyone ask miss knomes to make the cake? mother fuckers.

here is her myspace if you'd like to check her out. she wears some nice outfits and i also really enjoyed her live show. but i still could be her stylist.

kd's book club

oh hai,

i'm reading an erotic novella at the moment. no, it doesn't have a picture of fabio on the front in an open ruffled shirt with the sun setting in the background, and no it doesn't use sentences like:

"Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun. "

"He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried. "

it's Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille, and i am super into it in the sense that i feel like a.) i am being risque and b.) i'm reading something with literary significance and not something that ladies who read romance novels would be able to handle (at all). but sometimes i feel bad reading it on the bus when a granny is sitting next to me and i know she just looked over my shoulder and saw 'there was a period when simone developed a mania for breaking eggs with her behind'. but they probably secretly like it.

anyway, it's sweet. they talk about pee and eggs a lot. it was written in 1928 (which i knew because they describe one of the girls outfits. costume history, what what!) and deals with the duality of sex and death, how deep.


oh but if you do want some real trash in your life, this website: Smart Bitches, Trashy Books reviews romance novels and seems pretty sweet.

kd's book club

oh hai,

i'm reading an erotic novella at the moment. no, it doesn't have a picture of fabio on the front in an open ruffled shirt with the sun setting in the background, and no it doesn't use sentences like:

"Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun. "

"He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried. "

it's Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille, and i am super into it in the sense that i feel like a.) i am being risque and b.) i'm reading something with literary significance and not something that ladies who read romance novels would be able to handle (at all). but sometimes i feel bad reading it on the bus when a granny is sitting next to me and i know she just looked over my shoulder and saw 'there was a period when simone developed a mania for breaking eggs with her behind'. but they probably secretly like it.

anyway, it's sweet. they talk about pee and eggs a lot. it was written in 1928 (which i knew because they describe one of the girls outfits. costume history, what what!) and deals with the duality of sex and death, how deep.


oh but if you do want some real trash in your life, this website: Smart Bitches, Trashy Books reviews romance novels and seems pretty sweet.

Martorial elegance # 9

Oh Mike - i don't even care that you now have the body of Matt Lucas but you went from shopping at Dapper Dan for Louis V. and MCM print jackets with Eric B. in the eighties to rockin' the sort of fly $5000 silk suits DeNiro rocked as Ace Rothstein in Casino in the nineties only to end up sporting high waisted relaxed-in-seat-and-thigh women's barry trousers from M&S and orthopedic shoes you bought from the News Of The World sunday supplement in the noughties.

Whut went wrong? Let's blame your boy Nigo.

Big Mike ft. Pimp C - Havin' Thangs

Under The Rainbow (1981)

Contrary to what some people may believe, you can NOT go home again.

And nowhere is that more true than in the world of movies.

Take, for example, the mythology behind the classic film The Wizard of Oz. Surely there are those of us who have heard all the stories about a disgruntled munchkin committing suicide while the cameras were rolling in one scene, another story concerning Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album synching almost perfectly with the first moments of the film, another about the wild orgies the munchkins had at the hotel they stayed at, Buddy Ebsen's allergy to the Tin Wodsman makeup that forced him out of the role so that....

What's that?

You didn't KNOW about the munchkin orgies? Come on, it's the stuff of legend! Why do you think Judy Garland turned to heavy drugs later in life?

Okay, maybe there isn't a lot of validity to the orgy stories, but someone must have believed in it for that particular urban legend to stick around as long as it has. So much so that it was even the basis of a movie. And not just any movie, but the very movie I'm about to lay into.

Before I do, though, remember what I said about not being able to go home again? Once upon a long time ago (late '82), HBO played the heck out of the movies they got hold of - two, maybe three times a day at the very least, just to wring every entertainment dollar out of their purchase. How else could they get to where they are today - a huge movie channel that shows the same thing two, maybe three times a day?

Which brings us back to Under The Rainbow, one of HBO's acquisitions they played the ever-living bejebus out of in its run on the network. Being a mere sprat of a teenager when it first was out, the ads I saw for it were kind of funny in an immature kind of way and it seemed to play up the kind of nostalgic all-out farce that Steven Spielberg's 1941 aimed so low for. After all, 1981 was the year that celebrated the low-brow. After all, this was also the year that Stripes, Going Ape!, S.O.B. and Zorro The Gay Blade came to be, adding just as much if not more locker room fodder for all the immature adolescents of the land.

But Under The Rainbow was even more than a mere adolescent romp through cliches, stereotypes and offensive jokes; this was a history lesson.

The movie is set in 1938. It is the Depression - a time of famine and financial desolation across the face of America. Still, everyone had big dreams, even a person of diminutive size like Rollo Sweet (Cork Hubbert); he knew there was more to his life than being in the middle of nowhere. And as he was so fond of saying (even though he only says it maybe two times in the whole 90+ minutes of this film), "There's no dream too big, and no dreamer too small". So he determines to go find his fame and fortune in Hollywood, one way or another.

There are other things in his way, however: a Nazi plot to sabotage the homeland defense (formulated by no less than Hitler himself), a ruler of a foreign land marked for assassination by a mad Italian killer and the descent of 150 little people into Hollywood and their subsequent destruction of a single hotel within 24 hours of their arrival. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that there are not only the deaths of several Japanese businessmen, but also of a handful of dogs - all for the sake of comedy go they.

The last time I saw Under The Rainbow was in 1983 at a friend's house and, sure enough, I was at the right age (TEENage) to find the jokes funny and the people in it as master farceurs. This was, in my estimation, the best movie. Ever.

And now, having watched it again after such a long time, I realize what a stupid young man I was.

Chevy Chase plays a government agent tagged to protect the visiting Austrian dignitary (Joseph Maher - the evil doctor from Charles Bronson's forgettable The Evil that Men Do) and his wife (Eve Arden - yes, Our Miss Brooks) from attack, mainly from a sinister yet bad luck-prone assassin (Robert Donner - remember Exidor from "Mork and Mindy"?). And even though Chevy's film work was heavy and often in the early '80s, it was more often in thin, unfunny drivel like this and Modern Problems, Oh Heavenly Dog!, Deal of the Century and such. He doesn't even do anything typically "Chevy" herein; just kind of acts like a bland straight man. It was just a year before, you may recall, he was in the vastly underrated Neil Simon comedy Seems Like Old Times. Now, THAT was a comedy. In Rainbow, Chevy just kind of stands there, tired and disinterested.

Carrie Fisher co-stars as a Hollywood lower-level type who must wrangle the newly-arrived dwarves and midgets until filming commences. In one of her first few post-Star Wars roles, Carrie is actually sunny and charming in her role. So much so, you almost kind of ignore that fact that she and "romantic interest" Chevy have no chemistry together whatsoever. But no wonder; he doesn't display that much personality here. Back to Carrie: her main contribution to the movie (and anyone of the right age who's seen Rainbow will tell you the same) is that she spends several minutes of screen time in a bra and panties. A prepubescent dream to those of us who missed her gold bikini appearance on "Saturday Night Live" a couple of years prior to this film. And besides her character being otherwise underwritten other than "sprite" or "perky", Carrie didn't have a whole lot to work with, or against, or alongside...you get the idea.

Pity poor Billy Barty, who plays a diminutive Nazi spy out to set the nefarious anti-American plot into motion. Talking like a Katzenjammer kid and overplaying broadly (and entertainingly) like he does, he is still the victim of several "short" jokes (more on that in detail later). This from the man who not only founded The Little People of America Inc. - a foundation for the greater public knowledge and social acceptance of dwarfs - but was also a tireless promoter of a positive image of small people in general: herein fodder for the kind of jokes he was striving to not make acceptable. Under The Rainbow was not the film to help him promote his cause; it was more like an opiate for the masses.

Oh, but short people aren't the only minorities to be given the short shrift. The Japanese stereotypes run almost as rampant, what with a busload of vacationing Japanese men dropped off in the middle of things, taking pictures and replacing their "L"s with "R"s when convenient to the humor necessities of the plot. Even respected Japanese actor Mako, as a Japanese spy, doesn't get to do much more than follow along and be as insulted and insulting as everybody else.

Then there are more than any movie's share of insulting jokes towards women, Italians, black people, tall people, rich people, drunk people and sheep-molesters. The only thing that's been missed is jokes about homosexuals, but they're probably saving that footage for the extras on the never-to-be DVD release.

I mentioned Cork Hubbert earlier - in reality, this is supposed to be his story; the kid from the small town trying to make his way in Hollywood and be the star he knew he could be. And to his credit, Cork really gave it his all and, in the first few minutes, actually did create a character that was more or less believable, sympathetic and respectable. Alas, this is a comedy and certain things must be sacrificed at the Altar of Laffs. And one of them was the hard work that Cork went to to make his character. In the end, he is just another funny little person looking cute and trying to do "big" things like drive a horse carriage, duel Barty in a sword fight and run around. A lot.

Which brings me to the main contribution of ALL the little people in Under The Rainbow. They are basically seen as a mob; they march onto the screen, devatstate, act lewd when called on by the script (which is often), run around wildly then repeat the cycle for the next scene. Only Cork and Barty stand out from the crowd, but only because they had the most face time in what amounts to a miniature cattle call.

Like I said, when I was younger, Under The Rainbow was a very very funny movie. After I discovered "sophistication" and was ushered into the school of "political-correctness", I looked back and re-evaluated much of what I found humorous in my youth. This movie turned out to be a casualty and was then more or less purged from my memory - for the moment.

Now having seen it again, I can honestly say that, memories notwithstanding, there were a few amusing moments here and there that didn't completely insult my sensibilities or make me feel guilty for laughing. Still, the uncomfortable moments are there, both in terms of comedy as well as acting in general. I guess Under The Rainbow isn't out on DVD for a reason.

As impossible as it is to go home again, at least there is consolation in the fact that in watching a movie as irresponsible as this, you'll be enticed to move forward than look back. In anger, in this case.

...or maybe more appropriately in short temper.

"the not rape epidemic"

this is a fabulously written essay by Latoya Peterson about how (unfortunately) nearly every single girl or female is "not raped" in her life and rationalizes as such. ranging from, "well he only grabbed my ass, it's not like he raped me," to "he knocked me on the ground and grabbed my boobs and kissed me when I said no, but it's not rape," and beyond.

I think this is a wonderful essay that girls AND boys should read, and then pass it on to everybody they know. and it should be required reading in health class.


they talk about it on jezebel's site -- tatiana, the anonymous model talks about it in terms of the fashion/modeling world (her posts are literary and always an interesting peek into life as a model).


the only thing latoya doesn't touch upon which I think is a very important aspect of this subject is how to balance protecting yourself/acting smartly in situations and being fearful everytime you walk down the street.

"the not rape epidemic"

this is a fabulously written essay by Latoya Peterson about how (unfortunately) nearly every single girl or female is "not raped" in her life and rationalizes as such. ranging from, "well he only grabbed my ass, it's not like he raped me," to "he knocked me on the ground and grabbed my boobs and kissed me when I said no, but it's not rape," and beyond.

I think this is a wonderful essay that girls AND boys should read, and then pass it on to everybody they know. and it should be required reading in health class.


they talk about it on jezebel's site -- tatiana, the anonymous model talks about it in terms of the fashion/modeling world (her posts are literary and always an interesting peek into life as a model).


the only thing latoya doesn't touch upon which I think is a very important aspect of this subject is how to balance protecting yourself/acting smartly in situations and being fearful everytime you walk down the street.

OUT OF BUSNIESS! Cue The Applause.

I dunno if you've heard, or if you care, but I'll let you in on something. If you're walking around Broadway like a normal New Yorker, you will see that in front of 16 year old Kira Plastinina's store there is a sign, such as the one in the photo, that says "OUT OF BUSINESS." I remember just three or four weeks ago, I was passing that store, looking at the shop window and wincing. Her clothes are L-A-M-E. And not to be the bearer of bad news or the mother of all that is doomsday, but I seriously am very happy that its closing. Should have closed sooner, but I guess they were giving her a chance. The girl is adorable (I guess . . .) and its awesome that she's from Russia, one of the places I plan to visit, and God knows America loves imports, but you can send her back in her lame pink and black tutus and frilly white silk shirts 'cause her clothes barely stand out. You can combine better ensembles at S-n-D Kids or Conway (Which I love. Yes, I buy some shirts for $6, so what? They last me for a good time!) than at her lame clothing store. The only good thing about it is that they shop is comforting, adorable, and pink. Can't help but attract lame Miley Cyrus addicts who are trying so hard to be fashionable teeny boppers with pink, now can ya? I would just stand there and scratch my head with a bag of headbands and a few cardigans that I bought at Strawberry and Forever 21 while looking at the shopfront, wondering why the shop was even there. She has jackets for a price so unreasonably unnecessary. Like, come on. But though her stores are closing everywhere they were created in the US of A, her 80+ stores in Russia are still uber busy, making sure to clean up after every hunger crazed Russian teeny bopper girl who thinks she can rock the next greatest Kira Plastinina outfit before the Regina George (Mean Girls? hello) of her school does first. Sawwy, Kira. At least you have your fellow high schoolers to keep you in business.

I take 'em 8 to 80 - blind, crippled and crazy

(No Jonathan Ross).

If ever there was a song which summed up the I Don't Care If You Wouldn't, I Would ethos then it would have to be No Ho'z Barred by PSK-13 featuring Point Blank, .38 and K-Rino. The genuine primal attraction to dirty rough slappers that pulsates deep inside every red-blooded male and an utter disdain for the concept of ladies who are considered guilty pleasures by normal standards are the genetic make-up of this, the track which here at The Martorialist we consider to be the ultimate ode to stank hoes.

PSK-13 ft Point Blank, .38 & K-Rino - No Ho'z Barred



Similarly, if ever there was ever a release which embobied that good ol' South Park Coalition ethos and sound you'd have to point to PSK-13's mini-album No Ordinary Aggin, which No Ho'z Barred is taken from.



The world is a complex place which often leaves us not being able to diferentiate between our arses and our elbows so why not retreat from the labyrinthine byways of everyday life and snuggle up with some wholly uncomplicated hard headed Texan gangsta shit replete with nefarious trunk-rattling synths, supremely ignorant lyrics with nary a regard for anything about being reckless down in Texas and intro dialogue samples of Tony Montana and Doughboy from Boyz N The Hood? Here's a PSK-13 deuce for y'all non believers :

PSK-13 - Headin' For My Trunk



PSK-13 - Settin' A Mark

Oscar Time Again! Who Wins? Who Cares?

Seems that every year about this time, the world holds its breath and waits until that magic moment when the influential and mighty of the motion picture industry gather to hear the names of the few who are indeed eligible to win that most coveted of awards....

Oh, who am I kidding? I gave up on the Oscars long before Rob Lowe and Snow White sang their duet.

To hell with "awards from their peers", it's all about money and who has the most to spread around to win one. Besides which, I'll never forgive them for not having Billy Crystal come back to host on a regular basis.

So? I'm being cynical. Shut up.

Sure, there's some interesting nominees this year, but who really cares about who's going to win? Not me, not anymore. It's not as if it will matter one way or another in some actors' careers; some just get lucky, some of their agents have more money than others, whatever.

Anyway, there's only one thing I'm interested in this year:

Who WON'T win.

Let's start with the top Oscars and move down...

----------

BEST PICTURE

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Frost/Nixon

Milk

Slumdog Millionaire

The Reader - I mean, come on; everyone raise their hands who actually caught this movie. Everyone else and their mother saw the others and whispered at work or their bridge club, "ooh, this was such a good movie", or "ooh, he or she was so good in this" or some such nonsense. But The Reader? I don't even remember seeing any ads for this thing. I don't know what it was even about (and don't write in telling me it was about someone reading something, you goobs), and I don't feel like looking it up. Besides which, all of the "watch-this-because-it's-an-important-film-buzz" was already centered around Slumdog Millionare, so spare me. Give it another week and it'll be on DVD if it isn't already, on the shelf next to Howard's End or some Merchant/Ivory thing.

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BEST ACTOR

Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)

Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon)

Sean Penn (Milk)

Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) - I could have went easy and gone with Richard Jenkins, another actor no one's ever heard of, got one nomination for his "breakthrough" role and was never heard from again, kinda like Frankie Faine's character in that movie The Oscar. But Mickey Rourke? This poor guy never caught a break in Hollywood. For al the fantastic roles he's gotten and great movies he's been in, he has never been recognized for all his hard work...or maybe never paid enough money to be recognized, or whatever. Myself, I'll always love his parts in films like The Pope of Greenwich Village, Angel Heart, Barfly and he was the only object of redeemable value in Michael Cimiono's 1985 fiasco Year of the Dragon. And yes, his was a yeoman effort in The Wrestler, garnering kudos after kudos, but will he get his day in the sun? No. I have a feeling this Benjamin Button garbage is going to run roughshod over this night of self-back-patting with its overload of sentiment and Forrest Gump channeling. And who will get the short end of the stick? That's right: poor old Mickey Rourke. Poor guy. Hasn't he already paid his dues for Wild Orchid?

----------

BEST ACTRESS

Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married)

Angelina Jolie (Changeling)

Meryl Streep (Doubt)

Kate Winslet (The Reader)

Melissa Leo (Frozen River) - Who? Yeah, me neither. Look at the other names: you think little Melissa stands a chance in a pool full of sharks like Streep and Winslet and Hathaway and Jolie (oh, don't get me started on Jolie - we'll be here all night)? At least Anne Hathaway has a foot in the door with The Devil Wears Prada, along with the fact that everyone loves her since her old boyfriend what's-his-name did all that stupid money-laundering or whatever the hell it was that got him in jail. Anne's the poster child for Poor Little Rich Girls everywhere. Melissa, get a few more movies under your belt and then try again. Just not this year.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

Josh Brolin (Milk)












Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder)












Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt)












Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road)









- I don't care who your are - you could be the reanimated corpse of Richard Burton doing a two-man act with the 1940's Laurence Olivier - you would not stand a chance for a Supporting Actor Oscar this year. Even Downey Jr. playing an white Australian actor playing a black man doesn't stand a chance this year. Not that Ledger didn't do yeoman work playing a wholly detestable villain and not deserve every other award and praise he got (he most certainly did earn all that), but how fair is it for all the other actors in this category to have to go up for an award against someone who has in the last year had more face time and positive buzz than all of them combined? I imagine after the awards, the losers will all be at the same table, enjoying a nice Michael Shannon burger. Yep.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams (Doubt)

Viola Davis (Doubt)

Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Penelope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona)

Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler) - again, as easy as it would have been to go with Cruz, Tomei just seemed a more likely choice, seeing as she seemed to lose that certain something she had when she got her Oscar so long ago for My Cousin Vinny. That, I feel, was either a fluke, someone read the wrong card or their must have been A LOT of money involved. Either way, Tomei just doesn't strike the same chord she used to back in the '80s'. This will be an evening filled with heavy (deserved) praise for Doubt or another category flattened by the Benjamin Button steamroller. Sorry, Marisa.

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BEST DIRECTOR

Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Stephen Daldry (The Reader)

David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon)

Gus Van Sant (Milk) - Why? Two reasons: one, he's just too much for Hollywood to handle right now. For all the money whoever it was may have put up for him to be nominated, the powers-that-be will NEVER recognize someone so controversial and as outre' as Van Sant. After all, this is a man who walks down the same path of rabble-rousing as Michael Moore does, what with his paeans to school shootings (Elephant), drug abuse (Drug Store Cowboy) and narcoleptic male prostitutes (My Own Private Idaho). Not to say that he isn't talented - far from it - but Hollywood has NEVER taken it unto themselves to reward such unrepentantly inexcusable behavior as being - heaven forbid - ORIGINAL. And Van Sant is certainly that. Oh, and two: I don't think anyone's every really forgiven him for the Psycho remake.

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BEST ANIMATED FILM OF THE YEAR

Kung Fu Panda

WALL-E

Bolt - the reason for this goes way back to before Cars was made by Pixar: back when that inexcusable idiot Michael Eisner was in charge of Walt's baby, he made the utterly bone-headed decision to break ties with Pixar (their biggest money-maker at that time) and have Disney start their own computer animation branch and make movies that were the exact equal of Toy Story, Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo. This fundamentally moronic idea failed on the simple basis that none of Disney Studios' animated movies at that time had the same heart, spirit, wonder and whimsy as any of Pixar's classics. And their very first computer-animated effort (Chicken Little) only reinforced that very same issue: it was a carbon copy of Pixar's works, but without the heart. After Eisner was dumped (thank GOD) and bridges were mended with Pixar, all fell back to normal, save for the fact that Disney Studios KEPT their computer animation branch and kept churning out heartless drones like Bolt - even going so far as to carbon-copy its script from one of their own direct-to-DVD works (101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure), which wasn't that good to begin with. I mean; Good Lord, people - even Kung Fu Panda had Jack "The Man" Black in it. What did Bolt have? Oh wait: I'll answer that...NOTHING.

----------

And so there you go: nominations you may take to the bank.

Pick all the winners you want; I'm perfectly content with my losers.

Congratulations, guys and remember: it's just as important for you to have paid enough money to even be nominated.

Dope out.

-TGWD

hooker's delight

no seriously. that's what these pefect martini glasses are called. "hooker's delight by greece is for lovers."

they are perfect b/c I ALWAYS prefer to stir my martini before I take a sip, and also, they just look mad cool.




and look how elegant they look when not in use! way classier than a plastic toothpick.

hooker's delight

no seriously. that's what these pefect martini glasses are called. "hooker's delight by greece is for lovers."

they are perfect b/c I ALWAYS prefer to stir my martini before I take a sip, and also, they just look mad cool.




and look how elegant they look when not in use! way classier than a plastic toothpick.

Martorial elegance # 8

Back in the mid 90s the rapper Rakim apperared on an episode of YO! MTV Raps dipped in an orange Champion hoody, an orange-trimmed baseball cap and some orange on white AF1 Nikes. As ensembles go, it wasn't quite one of his 80s Gucci/MCM custom-made Dapper-Dan suits and it's perhaps a little too matchy-matchy in the cold light of 2009, but, nevertheless, he still managed to look like the flyest motherfucker on the planet at that particular moment in time.



You, sir, are no Rakim and dare I venture to suggest that you are no Marvin Gaye either when you open your big gob to belt out hymns like The Old Rugged Cross in a singing voice which can only be described as an unholy miscegenation of the Vic Reeves club singer routine and ODB warbling the chorus on Shimmy Shimmy Ya.

And surely if Jesus truly does want to save you he'd have let you know that nobody who wears wheat-coloured Timbs in 2009 will be allowed onboard Noah's Ark during the next great Earth-cleaning flood, especially when even Buckshot from Black Moon binned his last pair back in 2003. Talk about "you're so two thousand and late" - step your shoe game up and get some tan coloured suede Red Wings instead if you want to ascend to sartorial heaven, bruv.

Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Orange

Martorial elegance # 7

This is the exact point when Benny from Crossroads type middle aged slobs just say fuck it completely, embrace the liberations that come with hitting pensionable age and transmogrify into Compo overnight.



You can view him with a sense of pity if you wish but there's probably a sort of Zen-Buddhist calm which envelopes a man when he eschews such concepts as style, clothing which has been washed in the last decade, personal hygeine and fear of public ridicule to live out the rest of his days in bliss as a batshit crazy dedraggled old mong, isn't there?

Big Tuck ft. Fat B - Not A Stain On Me

I might be a little late to the game, but . . .

this is utterly amazing. made in buenos aires, this graffiti artist made a short animated film so it looks like his graffiti is moving across walls and in and out of buildings. my horrible explanation does nothing to help you understand how awesome this is, so just watch.


ps be on the lookout for the artist's love for bug/spider imagery.

pps my favorite part is 2:35 when the robot kicks the log off of the wall

I might be a little late to the game, but . . .

this is utterly amazing. made in buenos aires, this graffiti artist made a short animated film so it looks like his graffiti is moving across walls and in and out of buildings. my horrible explanation does nothing to help you understand how awesome this is, so just watch.


ps be on the lookout for the artist's love for bug/spider imagery.

pps my favorite part is 2:35 when the robot kicks the log off of the wall

So gangsta but so smooth like Ric Flair

Props to Dan for hooking me up and being the only dj to play this song in the first place back in 2006. The affection i have for this tune is the same sort of unbridled love i have for dried blueberries or Japanese Stussy Harringtons and that beat is what i wish Just Blaze had been doing in '06 instead of lazy Public Enemy inspired beatjacks.

Curtains - That's What It Is



That beat comes from another one of my fav' tunes : Harlem Clavinette by Bobby Womack & J.J Johnson off the Across 110th Street Soundtrack, yet despite the fact it seems so ripe for sampling it's barely been touched over the years.

There was an old Bo$$ tune called Deeper which used the break to sporadically weave in and out of its main 90% Of Me Is You sample with all the elegance of a Paul Scholes tackle but The Martorialist doesn't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about Bo$$ or femme rappers other than MC Lyte, Lady Of Rage, Roxanne Shante, Mia X and Lil' Kim circa 1995 - 1999.

Ghostface & Raekwon - Maxine



So that leaves the only real notable use of it being when RZA hooked it up for Ghost & Rae to get their Elmore Leonard on with Maxine in 2001 but even he missed a trick by not using the the bursts of dramatic blaxploitation horn and electric piano. That's the highlight of Bulletproof Wallets (well, the retail version anyway) but the Curtains track wins the Martorialist award for best use of Harlem Clavinette to date.

Edit : managed to track down a copy of the Curtains 12" not long after making this post. Result!

this is what I feel like saying to . . .

anybody who thinks they are super-original and are the first person who ever thought of what they do (talking to you lady gaga-doucheface)

this is what I feel like saying to . . .

anybody who thinks they are super-original and are the first person who ever thought of what they do (talking to you lady gaga-doucheface)

"thought you might like this"

was the email heading of this link. she was right.


it's a sequined unicorn hair clip from etsy. amazing.