It's the kiss that matters

People will tell you all kinds of tripe about

 what makes a movie successful,

 droning on and on about film noir,

or

tight dialogue,

 or

fast-paced action.

 This is, in my considered,

but admittedly not considerable opinion,

so much empty talk.

Do you know what makes a movie unforgettable? The Kiss. 

You will recognise the kiss that's

just right when the edges of the film you're

watching start to curl - along with your toes.

Some call it chemistry,

some just call it great acting,

 but it is the crux without which the story

 will simply disappear like dust in the wind. 

What has brought all this on?

You may well ask.

There I was, waiting breathlessly for Monster Thursday's

 double feature on Star World when Angel a

nd Buffy cross over into each other's shows

 and love was set to ignite.

 Instead of fire, what we got was ice.

I could forgive, almost, the fact that in

'Buffy' they don't meet at all,

but when they do in 'Angel',

they kiss like children and we are shown

 nothing but nothing until they lie sweetly in their bed,

 you know, 'after'.

What is most annoying is that when they first got it on,

 there were real sparks, real feeling.

Okay, I know love dies,

but does it have to in the movies, as well? 

Look at the way Bruce Willis did it in Last Man Standing.

A five-second smooch that was awe-inspiring.

 He can make you believe every woman

he lays his lips on is the only woman in the world,

the only one that can make him forget his pain,

the only one in the species he recognises in

a nanosecond is his and his alone.

All this - and he takes five seconds to tell us about it. 

Then again, look at Julia Roberts.

 Lovely gal, great actress,

 but can't kiss for nuts.

 No, not even in Pretty Woman with

 of all people Richard Gere,

could she pull it off.

You don't think, 'Oooh, sexy,',

 you just say 'Owww'

It hurts to see actors who are supposedly the epitome

 of sex appeal fall flat in front of your disbelieving eyes.

What is it about her that in this most important department,

 her combustibility fails?

 Perhaps she expends it all in her very

active romantic real life.

 Julia could take lessons from Peta Wilson in La Femme Nikita.

This is a girl who could do love scenes

with a sculpture and the camera lens would steam up.

She puts it all out there; there isn't a single limb,

much less lips, that don't work up a lather.

It doesn't even have to be the love interest

 she's working with

(although when it is Michael,

the whole thing is so lethal it could kill

 off someone with a weak heart). 

Andy Garcia in Internal Affairs?

 One minute after he pulls his wife onto the floor,

the viewer is getting hot flushes

which has nothing to do with menopause. 

Strangely enough,

 with rumours of both being as gay as day,

Jodie Foster and Gere in Sommersby hit the high note.

There's passion between them,

or the simulation of passion, which is all we really ask for. 

Ay, there's the rub.

 When we ask for that,

 we ask for too much.

-- 
Sriram Savarkar 
Hinduism is more a way of life than a method of worship.