Oscars 2011 - Was I Right? Again?

Another year, another batch of losers...or winners that weren't winners, or whatever.

Not that I'm going to bother watching the gaudy tackiness wrapped up in gilded nonsense that they call an awards show this year, either. Once again, my good friends at The Food Network will keep me company with a nice barbecue showdown and a couple of Iron Chef contests...they always know how to take care of me. Meantime, since I'm in front of the PC anyway to do this, I shall access their website and update it as they go.

Not that any of this makes a bit of difference, since I don't cover the Razzies, which would most certainly be a more fun gig - besides which, who gets kickbacks from paying off to get their picture a RAZZIE, fercryinoutloud.... Alright, so when we get right down to it, the Oscars aren't anything but a big makeout session for everyone who keeps up with their acting union card payments. But since they cover them every year, might as well keep up with what is important and take note of the losers.

Anyways, I have to make sure that I am yet again right THIS year - I have a winning streak to maintain.

Ready?

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - WINNER, Melissa Leo (The Fighter). There, ya see, Melissa? I told you it maybe took a year or so to get yours. Maybe it was that extra you paid under the table last year that got you a shoo-in this year? Anyway, first main award given and my choice didn't win, so then - so far so good for me....

BEST ANIMATED FILM - WINNER, Toy Story 3 (director, Lee Unkrich). YES!! Whoo! When is Dreamworks ever going to learn? You don't mess with the big dogs.... That's another correct prediction for loser down, folks!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - WINNER, Christian Bale (The Fighter). Well, there'll be no living with him in the Batcave now, I guess. But my winning/loser streak runs strong so far. Keep it up you Oscar voters, you.

BEST DIRECTOR - WINNER, Tom Hooper (The King's Speech). AAAAHHHH! NNNOOOOOO!!!! NOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAGHGHGAHAGAHHHHGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! .... ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!! .... Okay, okay okay I'm fine now, I'm...NOOOOOO!!!!!! AHAGHAGAHGAHAGAHGGGHHHHHAGHHH!!!!!

BEST ACTRESS - WINNER, Natalie Portman (Black Swan). Well, that's more like it.

BEST ACTOR - WINNER, Colin Firth (The King's Speech). That's good for him and all, but it would have been nice for The Dude to pull a two-fer. Still, Bardem didn't win, so that's good. One to go now.

and we can all finally go to bed with the announcement of...

BEST PICTURE - WINNER, The King's Speech. Okay, okay okay, I get it - it was a good film. You already ruined it for me by having that Hooper guy steal my thunder. Sheesh, you gotta rub my face in it, Academy? So what if they had the most money to spend, award-wise? Big whoop.

That's it; I no longer have anything nice to say at all about Tom Hooper. But hey, other than that...I was right. And one bad guess out of three years' worth? Not bad, I say.

That's it for this year. I'm off to bed.

Till next season, Oscar Loser Watchers.

Dope out.

- TGWD