Foreign Poster Atrocities #6

Why, oh why, am I dredging this chestnut up again?

Because I found a poster that was asking for it again; that's why!

And back again is my imaginary co-host, Jeff.

So, here we go...again....

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JEFF - James Bond and the Search for the Missing Consonant.

TGWD - President Obama in his most surprising role ever!

JEFF - That would make the Bond girl...Nancy Pelosi?

TGWD - Logically.

TGWD - I'm trying to figure out what they thought the spy loved before they erased it and settled on "Me"; see the obvious paint-over at the end, there?

JEFF - Looks like...no...could it be...?

TGWD - What?

JEFF - It kinda looks like "Xenu".

TGWD - Aha! That's Tom Cruise as Barack Obama as James Bond!

JEFF - Co-starring Katie Holmes as Nancy Pelosi as Barbara Bach!

JEFF - And a fish.

JEFF - ....

TGWD - Go explain that one.

JEFF - I...can't. Or why the fish's head is partially covering the words "USA" back there.

TGWD - Obviously they were set to make this look like an all-American spy flick until they realized their mistake and put the fish over it to cover up - see, they even have a DeLorean back there instead of an Aston Martin.

JEFF - That looks more like the art guy started drawing a car, realized how close to quitting time it was and just did one big white swatch, called it expressionism and headed out.

TGWD - And take a moment to examine the "007" logo at the top left; they didn't even put a gun barrel at the end of it to make the "7" look like a gun as usual...just a couple of wavy lines.

JEFF - Well, every Bond film has product placement; so right there is a plug for Princess Cruises.

TGWD - But the fish, man! The fish; I can't get past it. Why is it there? What is its purpose? I'm all for these oblique, nonsensical posters we've been doing, but there has to be an explanation for the fish! What is it???

JEFF - Sorry, man; all the stuff I come up with for the fish is dirty.

TGWD - Hey; keep it clean, I don't run one of those kind of blogs. I'm only 35% evil, remember....

TGWD - Hey, there at the woman's feet: "Lovers Teshie Club".

TGWD - What is a "teshie"?

JEFF - One switched vowel away from erasing all pretense about the fish symbolism.

TGWD - What do you mea...oooh. Fine, fine; let's just say they started out making a poster for A Fish Called Wanda, lost that contract, put James Bond, a chick in a micro-mini and a half-finished car in it to cover, can we do that?

JEFF - I got it! They heard Jaws was in this Bond movie and thought it was the shark, no one there could draw a shark so they called in the guy who was good at drawing sexually-suggestive salmon and had him do some touch-up. Yes!

TGWD - The more I look at this poster, the more it looks like House and someone's heavily made-up bar-hopping grandma in front of a Dali painting.

TGWD - A car, a fish, a sexy woman...this is all of Bond's self-compensation coming to the fore in one poster.

JEFF - Sometimes a salmon is just a salmon.

TGWD - I'm done with this. Bye-bye, Bond.

TGWD - Au revoir, Obama.

JEFF - So long, and thanks for the fish.

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I'm not sure if this segment will be back again; I'll have to see if there's any more stupid posters out there. Surely not, but you never know.

Dope out.

- TGWD