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Sunday, November 29, 2009

street carnage tells you things that are punk

from punk mondays

orly?

Taking care of your body: People think caring about your body is strictly for hippies and work-out types, but punks like to take care of their bodies too, just in a different sort of way. They like to make their bodies happy by eating food out of dumpsters. That makes their brains happy cuz it’s free food, and the brain is a part of your body. Some punk are vegans, and some punks are not. Punks don’t care that much about food actually. Being punk is about making your body look good but not in the way SOCIETY thinks “good” is which is why a lot of punks have tattoos, piercings, and don’t care if they get fat. It’s true that normies have tats, piercings, and are fat, the difference is that they’re not making a statement about society while punks clearly are.

The Dixie Chicks: “What? They ain’t punk!” Again you’re wrong. The Dixie Chicks are punk as shit. They hate the government and people burned their cds because of it. I know another band that happened to, they were called EVERY PUNK BAND EVER.

Wearing whatever you want: You don’t need safety pins or anarchy buttons or bells or whistles to be a punk. I mean, if you want to dress like a stereotypical punk you can wear that shit, but my cousin is 8 and she was a “punk” for Halloween. She basically dressed like Gavin when he performs in 80s Hardcore. If you’re really punk you can dress like a meathead because you’re so punk that you don’t give a shit what people think about you. Real punks don’t need to be classified into groups or categorized in any scene. You can dress like a stockbroker or a drag queen, as long as your being truer to yourself than the man. Owning a few 7 inches doesn’t hurt though.

Listening to whatever you want even if it’s not punk music: Guess what Ian Mackaye’s favorite band is? The Shangri-La’s. Guess what Jello Biafra listened to before he played a show? Dolly Parton. Oh and Sam McPheeters from Born Against has a framed poster of Minnie Riperton hanging in his living room. None of these facts are actually true, but like, come on. They totally are. Punk kids obviously listen to punk and hardcore, but they listen to other stuff as well, including the pioneers of punk—Eric Clapton and John Lennon. JK!!!

Not having to get wasted to feel comfortable or talk to people: A lot of people think punks love to get wasted and sniff glue. That’s not true at all. Everyone loves to get wasted; it’s hardly original, and punks are about being original or at least not conforming to society’s rulez, like you have drink in order to feel comfortable. If you’re really punk, you’ll feel awkward or scared and just say ‘fuck it’ and ride it out, cuz punks love facing and conquering challenges. Punks love fear. True, I’m only saying this because I don’t drink, but I’m fucking punk. What do you expect?

Being nice to people: Old ladies are scared of punks because they think we will steal your purse and crash your party, but that’s just an old punk wives tale. Real punks are bff’s with old people, dogs, fat kids from high school, children, and other kinds social underdogs. Remember Duncan from Some Kind of Wonderful? Like that.

Sitting on the street: Punks don’t care about germs or getting dirty. They spill food and beer and mustard on themselves and it just blends in with their ‘tudes. Wanting everything to be clean is for snobs and thugs, two kinds of people that punks don’t mess around with.

Going to school: Punks like school because they like to know the ins and outs of knowledge. That way when a bully challenges them in mental way, they can be like “How do you like them apples?” Like Good Will Hunting, who incidentally happened to be punk as shit. BONG!

Contradicting themselves: Because punks don’t really believe in rules, all of the above things can be argued at any moment and the argument would be true too. Punks don’t like to follow a moral code or rules. They don’t even like the rule to not follow the rules.

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