Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Let me start out this particular review with a particularly whiny question:

What in the hell did they do to my Superman?

Growing up, I read quite a few comic books featuring this grandest of DC standbys.

I even remember suffering through the televised musical "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman!".

And in 1978, I actually DID believe a man could fly.

That man was Christopher Reeve, and he brought the Man Of Steel to very believable life. Even in the wake of Star Wars, here was a movie that could make us concentrate on heroics that were right here on our home planet.

In short, it was good.

Then a couple of years later came the inevitable Superman II, which was even better, in my own humble-yet-informed opinion, as it featured even more familiar characters from the comics (namely General Zod and his minions).

In short again, it was great.

And then came Superman III. Smaller story, yes. More slapstick-y than the first two, yes. Cheaper special effects, yes. But it was forgivable. Yes, I even forgave the for-laffs casting of Richard Pryor in full-out goofball mode. It was entertaining and Reeve was still believable - kind of like James Bond is, even when he rides around in a gondola/hovercraft on the sidewalks of Venice.

Again in short, it was...okay.

But something happened in the four-year lapse between III and our subject for today.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Not only was it a completely different story, it was from a completely different studio. Whereas the first three Superman movies came from the foundries of Warner Bros., Superman IV was produced by none other than Cannon Pictures' own Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus.

Yes, that Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. Over the Top. Breakin'. All those Chuck Norris movies. Not exactly Alexander and Ilya Salkind, are they?

You see, at the time they won the rights to produce the next installment of this venerable series, Cannon Pictures underwent a severe liability in their financial department, forcing their hand in one particular area. Whereas this film originally had a $36 million budget (not an unreasonable amount for a film like this), Cannon had to cut it in more than half ($17 million - quite an unreasonable amount for a movie like this). Of course, Golan and Globus were past masters at bringing in movies for cheap and at a profit. And with a title of such guaranteed name recognition, how could they screw it up?

The answer to this, dear reader, is a combination of reasons.

First is the basic story: due to a suggestion from a school child, Superman vows to rid the world of all nuclear weapons and force the world to end all wars and declare peace with one another.

Maybe it's just me but doesn't this conflict with one of the main things that Supes was taught as he sailed through space from his destroyed home planet: do not interfere with the development of mankind? Aren't wars and weapons development of nations as a whole part of that development? Sure, he's supposed to protect man and truth, justice and the American way and all that old school stuff, but isn't restricting man's growth and not allowing him as a race to learn from his own mistakes one of those counter-productive things that he wasn't supposed to do? That's what Supes gets for letting kids form his opinions....

...And it's also what Chris Reeve got for letting himself, of all people, co-author the script. He, along with writers Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal weaved what would become a tapestry of mediocrity involving nuclear power, disarmament, corporate takeovers, annoying nephews and revisiting themes that worked once before but crashed and burned on re-approach.

Back to the script - Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman!!) is busted out of prison while he's on work detail (in what looks like the absolute cheapest, most under-thought prison escape scene ever committed to film) by his dorky nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer), Once out, Luthor steals a hair from Superman's head (long story) and, to make a killing in nuclear weaponry in more ways than one, creates Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow, in his first and last appearance in movies or in the general public in toto), a super-villain who gives The Man Of Steel the fight of his life.

However, that isn't the whole story, because Supes' alter ego Clark Kent is also having a tough time of it, what with his beloved Daily Bugle being bought out by multi-millionaire David Warfield (Sam Wanamaker) and his daughter Lacey (Mariel Hemingway), with the intention of taking the Bugle in a "new direction". Always dangerous words to use in business.

Maybe this would have worked. Maybe. With a bigger budget, better script and more competent direction,. After all, the past installments had such directing royalty as Richard Donner and Richard Lester, who had some pretty darn good films in their legacy. But with IV, all Golan and Globus could get for their money was Sidney J. Furie, a name most bad-movie fans soak up with a knowing nod, some of his directorial titles being such unspeakable travesties as Doctor Blood's Coffin, Devil Doll, Gable and Lombard, The Entity, Purple Hearts, the first, second and fourth Iron Eagle flicks, and a few installments of the Pamela Anderson TV show "V.I.P." - Hey, I know we all have our off-days, but Gable and Lombard??? Come on....

Christopher Reeve, since 1978, was most famous for his essaying of the Man of Steel. Perhaps even tragically so, if comparison to Kirk Alyn and George Reeves is any indication. No matter what the situation, he always made the role his own and made you believe that he could, in fact, fly. Even in real life, you figured Chris Reeve leaving for work, arms outstretched and flying from his home to the movie studio...in a single bound, no less. He did his best here in IV, but it was almost as if he knew what a nasty dip the series had taken and decided, like any good captain, he would go down with the ship. Say what you will about the movie, at least Reeve gave it his all.

...even if he did co-write the story. How could you, Chris?

You may remember the original film featured a fantastic cast, first and foremost of them being Gene Hackman, who hammed it up royally as Lex Luthor, masterminding a plan to not only rule the world (of real estate, at least) but also to destroy Superman in the process. Well, Hackman returns here and even though he is the best part of this movie, he is still not displayed at his most advantageous herein. This is a man who has won awards, people - BIG awards. IMPORTANT awards. And there's something kind of distracted about him here in IV, like he's thinking of something else altogether unconnected with the film he's in. Maybe ways to do away with his agent?

Just like Richard Pryor didn't have any reason to be in a Superman movie, neither does Jon Cryer. Lex Luthor's nephew? And he isn't even an evil nephew - just a geeky one, dressed like a '50s leftover and speaking in "valley girl" argot with many a 'whoa' thrown in here and there. You know, even in 1987 Cryer should have given up playing teenagers without John Hughes anywhere in attendance. In the same year, he was in Hiding Out, as a stockbroker who for one reason or other must take refuge in a nearby high school as a teenager - the only difference is that was supposed to be the joke. A Superman movie isn't supposed to be a joke. At least not unintentionally.

Not to worry, though; there are familiar faces in this installment besides Hackman; Jackie Cooper and Marc McClure return as Perry White and Jimmy Olsen, respectively. Not to mention wearily, judging from their performances. And then there's Margot Kidder as Lois Lane. Margot must be an extremely good sport, having wanted out of the Supes flicks after II and darned near almost getting away with it in III. But just when she thought she was out...Golan and Globus pull her back in. Maybe this is where a lot of their budget went to: getting the series regulars back into the pool - because it sure didn't go into the effects.

Many scenes of Superman flying, done in harnesses as they were, weren't even edited that well, since it looks as if he's put on a little weight in the thighs during his flying scenes. Many other scenes either defy the laws of physics, the idea of humans being in (and breathing in) outer space or that real life doesn't have blue-screen outlines. To quote Mike Nelson from "Mystery Science Theater 3000", the effects herein must have been headed by Industrial Lights and Morons.

This is a very bad, very sad movie to watch and the only one of the Superman movies to LOSE money. Yes, even with a minuscule budget and more cost-cutting corners taken than there were corners to cut. In the end there was no Supes fan die-hard enough to sit though this tragic mess without screaming at any and everyone who would listen not to make the mistake they made by watching it.

And I do love Superman. I do; he was the superhero I grew up watching, knowing, understanding, appreciating and respecting above all others. Even more than Spider-Man, who was more human and had far more foibles. Supes was infallible. Perfect. Stood up for the weak. Destroyed the evil of the world.

In fact the only thing Superman couldn't overcome was THIS MOVIE.

Take heed: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is kryptonite for the Supes fan's soul. Put it in a lead box and bury it.

Shame on you, Golan and Globus; you are a two-headed Lex Luthor - an amalgam of the whole League of Super-Villains. May you both be pelted with jars of Superman Peanut Butter the rest of your days.

No wonder Mark Pillow quit show business.