Foreign Poster Atrocities #17

Well well well...here we are in December and at Atrocity number 17 for the MBZ. Seriously, I never thought I would last past 5 or 6 of these things. Seriously.

Still, a series is as a series does and, this being the Holiday season, here's an early present for you. Courtesy of myself and co-sniper Jeff. And away we go....

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TGWD - Laser Tag: The Movie.

JEFF - All right, wait just one ding-dang minute....

JEFF - Who ARE these guys???

TGWD - Unless this is a sequel starring some of Mel Gibson's many illegitimate kids, we got a problem.

JEFF - Matt Damon was never in a Mad Max sequel.

TGWD - Neither was Cher.

JEFF - Cher? That's one of those Jersey Shore kids.

JEFF - They're in everything.

TGWD - Unfortunately.

TGWD - This is another one of those projects in which the artist's never seen the movie and just had to guess as to what the people in the film looked like.

JEFF - The Road Warrior NEVER had any lightning.

TGWD - I'm pretty sure post-apocalyptic Australia didn't have any t-shirts, either.

TGWD - Green or otherwise.

JEFF - And mom jeans were definitely outre.

JEFF - Everybody wears leather in the events after the nuclear holocaust devastates humanity.

TGWD - Because there'll be all those dead cows laying around; might as well do something with their shriveled skin.

JEFF - It's already been dried out by the radiation.

TGWD - And those guns....

JEFF - You mean the firearms, I take it.

TGWD - Yeah; but it does look like Rob Liefeld's been around here with the ugly stick.

JEFF - Anyway, Matt Damon's got a Black and Decker screwdriver.

JEFF - And Jersey Shore Max has a few pieces of black PVC pipe.

TGWD - I got it! His face is a Jersey Shore kid...his HAIR is Cher's...

JEFF - Ah! That's it!

TGWD - Body is Rambo's...and the bottom half belongs to my aunt when she's out working in her garden.

JEFF - And is it me or does Matt Damon have Agent Smith's face?

TGWD - Definitely has his glasses.

JEFF - Who do these artists think they're kidding; there isn't one vehicle in this poster.

TGWD - Which is the biggest drawing card in The Road Warrior, thank you very much. Besides one Mel Gibson....

JEFF - Oh forget that - if they have to piece together the people they have in their little picture out of bits and pieces, Mel is waaaay out of their reach.

TGWD - So we're supposed to believe that blondie here is the savior of humanity?

JEFF - That would make FrankenRambo down there the Humungus part. Or maybe Wez.

JEFF - Either way...no.

TGWD - I'm gonna guess that they actually lost prospective viewers due to this poster.

JEFF - I'd say that's an on-the-nose guess.

TGWD - This has pretty much got "justifiable lawsuit" written all over it. With George Miller leading the group.

JEFF - After he pushes ahead of a wild-eyed Mel Gibson, who insists on being his own lawyer.

TGWD - Don't do it, Mel; look in the mirror and realize that counsel is incompetent!

TGWD - We better stop here. The more I look at this stupid poster, the madder I get.

JEFF - Could be worse...could be a Beyond Thunderdome poster.

JEFF - AH!

TGWD - What?

JEFF - Forget Cher's hair: it's Tina Turner's!

TGWD - YES!!

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Happy Holidays everybody, from all of us here at the Foreign Poster Atrocity Team: me and...my imaginary friend.

Dope (and Jeff) out.

- TGWD