The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)

Never one to shirk off promises made, I present to you an older review that I once had on the B-Movie Message Board many years ago, and has since been, shall we say...deactivated? It is now updated Dope-style, with extra commentary here and there – but the tone remains the same: seething hatred.

The last thing I ever wanted to see was a movie in which the main purpose (and probably modus operandi) is to offend, disgust, revolt and induce vomiting.

Why, then, was I compelled to see such a travesty as The Underground Comedy Movie? To tell you the truth, I have no idea – even the infomercial for this thing tried to warn me away with scenes so vile and disgusting I was shocked they had the nerve to show the commercial for it at 3 AM.

But let's take a moment before delving into the many reasons I despise this so-called “film” (and there are many) to allow some elaboration time on the following:

What is comedy?

It's an effort to reflect the human experience in humorous terms that we can relate to, or situations that "normal" people are caught in that we could conceivably recognize ourselves in and appreciate as humorous, silly and/or ridiculous. See most any film by Woody Allen or Billy Wilder to understand that aspect.

There's another definition that simply plays with the conventions of movies, expectations we ourselves hold for particular scenes or how we expect the actors to behave in certain situations. The Airplane!, Hot Shots! and Naked Gun movies are prime examples of this. Even some Troma films delve into examples of these on occasion. Those Scary Movie films and their many offshoots (Date Movie, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie) try to do the same thing but...well, those are other reviews for another time.

Then there are people without an ounce of talent, not one funny idea in their empty head and a fair amount of cash and cameras who are allowed to make a "comedy" film, and instead make a glaring example of stupidity; a slap in the face of true entertainment that drags the hallowed name of COMEDY in the mud, over a field of broken glass and down into an acid bath.

Which brings us to this...this...thing. And a glaring look at the man who created it – and whom I hold fully responsible for the end result.

From what I understand, The Underground Comedy Movie is based on a cable access show ("The Underground Comedy Show"), both helmed by auteur Vince Offer (in his only stint as director, writer and actor). I can only hope his TV show was funnier...and by funnier, I mean less horrific.

What this aspires to be is a monument to bad taste and vapid brainlessness. To paraphrase the great Mel Brooks, it wants to rise BELOW vulgarity. And even though Mel's been in a movie slump lately, this makes Mel's Life Stinks look like The Producers. Hell, TUCM makes the Mel Brooks-produced film Solarbabies look like Citizen Kane.

Here's the low-down (and I mean WAY low-down): The Underground Comedy Movie is a collection of skits (a la Kentucky Fried Movie, but please - the comparison ends right there) that make up for their lack of humor and laughs in what they supply in gross-out, blood and gore. This is without a doubt one of the most mindlessly violent movies that ever masqueraded as a comedy I have seen in my life.

Meaning? If you think it's funny for a Godfather-themed restaurant to serve meat from baby fetuses, a "Batman" superhero (some guy in a baseball uniform beating people with a bat) to knock off a wheelchair-bound woman's head with his bat and watch the same head land in a yard with vicious, hungry dobermans or some chunky Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike (with a stage name I wouldn't dream of reprinting here) to fornicate with an emaciated old woman's corpse (a cockroach crawls out of her mouth at one point), and watch people get shot, eaten by sharks, get their hands blown off (graphically) by grenades and observe various bodily orifices in action, then you either:

a) have a low opinion of yourself

b) have never seen a comedy before

c) are new to this planet

d) are reading this from your padded cell under heavy sedation

or

e) are Vince Offer.

So what does any of this say about the creator/writer/director/actor of this mess: our above-mentioned ex-Scientologist Vince Offer? You may know him best as the hawker of those Sham-Wow towel things that everyone's seen on TV at least two, three times a day. What kind of a horrible, soul-scarring experience mush he have had in California to lash out at the entertainment industry with such an angry product as this?

And yes, the main current running through this whole enterprise isn't humor – it's anger. Anger against celebrities, anger against the good life, anger against women, anger towards anyone who happens to come across his field of vision. Offer is the equivalent of a pre-teen with Tourette's Syndrome who's been raised by bigoted parents and only has imaginary friends - and a camera. Oh sure, Offer tries to gloss everything over (especially the violence) with the excuse of, “hey relax: it's a comedy! It's supposed to be a joke!” - the only thing is, his frustrations get the better of him and make even the easiest targets (The Godfather, Dirty Harry, Batman, music videos) either over-baked, under-done or untouched.

And there are actual actors involved in this mess! Michael Clarke Duncan - I had extreme respect for him after seeing him in The Green Mile and even appreciated him in The Whole Nine Yards and Armageddon. After his humiliating turn herein as a gay virgin (ha-ha), he'll have to become a born-again Christian, build 180 Habitats for Humanity and save a busload of orphans about to plunge off a bridge by using his teeth to redeem himself.

Karen Black - yes, THAT Karen Black. She's made some bad career moves lately, yes, but still - Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces, The Day of the Locusts...that's a pretty impressive resume to be led up to this: a mother in a skit where she's pretty much debased to the nth degree. Maybe Karen's got personal issues....

And then there's appearances by Joey Buttafuoco, Gena Lee Nolin and Slash. Not that they necessarily add anything important, but there they are. To their credit, however, Joey Buttafuoco did have a bit part in Sean Connery's Finding Forrester. Gena Lee did look good in a swimsuit on "Baywatch". And Slash...nice hat, Slash. Nice guitar-playing, too.

In the end, after extensive ads late at night on Comedy Central, a whirlwind theatrical showing where it ended up on all of ONE screen (grossing just under $860 on a $170,000 budget!!) and reviews the world over wondering if anyone involved with this project had secure day jobs, TUCM never made anyone forget what comedy used to be like, before grossing out the viewer became more important than being entertaining - or in this case, being funny.

I'm sure you'll be endlessly debating what is and isn't comedy after reading this. By all means do, but NOT after watching The Underground Comedy Movie.

You'll be sorry.

One final note: Offer had the unmitigated gall to sue the Farrelly Brothers for stealing no more than fourteen (!) of his own scatalogical jokes from TUCM for their use in their own classic paean to low humor, There's Something About Mary. Needless to say, it never made it to a courtroom. And he also railed and rallied against the Church of Scientology for allegedly ruining his standing in Hollywood after he left them by making other Scientologists publicly denounce his character.

Vince, you did that your own self the minute filming wrapped on this beauty. And as far as the Farrelly Brothers go, don't even go there.

All I can say for Vince Offer is - I hope he sticks with the Sham-Wows.