The MAY'09 soundtrack!

Να’τος και ο μήνας των λουλουδιών, με τις υπέροχες ανοιξιάτικες μυρωδιές στον αέρα, και την υπέροχη γύρη να μπαίνει στο προσώπό μας, με ιδιαίτερη προτίμηση στην μύτη και τα μάτια, που αν κοκκινίσουν πραγματικά είναι λες και μας έβγαλαν τα μάτια έξω! Για να μην πω για τα συμπαθέστατα κατά τ’άλλα μυγάκια που τα τρώμε κάνουμε δεν κάνουμε δίαιτα, δεν έχουμε επιλογή, ειδικά εγώ που αν βρεθώ σε έρημο δρόμο αρχίζω να τραγουδάω, believe me έχω φάει χιλιάδες χωρίς να το ξέρω, και δεν έχω πάθει απολύτως τίποτα! Tουλάχιστον έχουν πρωτείνες όπως λένε, κι εντάξει πια πώς κάνουμε έτσι, μυγάκια είναι, δεν είναι αυτές οι μεγάλες, ελεεινές, τρισάθλιες πράσινες φωσφοριζέ μύγες που κάθονται πάνω στα σκατά (sorry for my French):-) Και μιας και είπα τη μαγική λέξη, shit that is, τι απαράδεκτος καιρός είναι αυτός, και μάλιστα ένα μήνα πριν το καλοκαίρι? Και για να μην ξεχνιόμαστε μιας και διανύουμε τον μήνα της Eurovision, GO SAKIS GOOOOOOO!!!! ΚΑΛΟ ΜΗΝΑ ΣΕ ΟΛΟΥΣ!!!!

BEST SONGS OF THE MONTH
*2 GRECOS Margarita
*7TH HEAVEN feat. BANDERAS This is your life
*ALCAZAR Harlem nights
*ALEX GAUDINO Watch out
*ALEX SWINGS OSCAR WINS! Miss kiss kiss bang (Eurovision 2009-Germany)
*ANDREA DEMIROVIC Just get out of my life (Eurovision 2009-Montenegro)
*ANNAGRACE Let the feelings go
*ANNE CLARK Boy racing
*ANNIE Anthonio
*ARCHIVE Collapse/Collide
*AU REVOIR SIMONE Shadows
*AYSEL & ARASH Always (Eurovision 2009-Azerbaijan)
*BAT FOR LASHES Daniel
*BLUE RAY feat. JIMMY SOMERVILLE You & me
*BODIES WITHOUT ORGANS Right here right now
*CRAIG WALKER Siamese (solo κομμάτι από τον ex-singer των Archive)
*DAN WINTER Don’t stop push it now
*DAVID GUETTA feat. KELLY ROWLAND When love takes over
*DEPECHE MODE Miles away/The truth is
*DISCOFAMILY It just won't do (Bigroom Edit)
*DJ ROSS Emotion
*DUFFY Live and let die (διασκευή του γνωστού James Bond τραγουδιού του Paul McCartney, για τη φιλανθρωπική οργάνωση War Child)
*ENRIQUE IGLESIAS feat. CIARA Takin’ back my love
*FREEMASONS When you touch me
*GLOBAL DEEJAYS feat. ROZALLA Everybody's free (2009 Rework)
*JEANETTE In or out
*JUSTIN NOZUKA After tonight (μεγάλο thanx στον writersblokc που τον πρότεινε!)
*LAST CHANCE feat. CRAIG WALKER Heaven
*LENE MARLIN Here we are
*LITTLE BOOTS New in town

*LIZ KAY You're not alone 2009 (Dave Darell Edit)
*LOVEBUGS The heighest heights (Eurovision 2009-Switzerland)
*LULU ROUGE Melankoli
*LUUP Through your woods
*MARIE DIGBY Shoulda been simple
*MARTINA MCBRIDE Sunny side up
*MAYA SIMANTOV I’m lost without you
*MONIKA Babe
*NATALIA Heartbreaker
*NICOLA FASANO vs. PAT-RICH 76, ocean drive (Apache vocal radio mix)
*NIELS BRINCK Believe again (Eurovision 2009-Denmark)
*ONIRAMA Παραδώσου (Ναι, τους σιχαίνομαι σαν group, αλλά το τραγουδάκι είναι ωραίo)
*PATRICIA KAAS Et s’il fallait le faire (Eurovision 2009-France)
*PET SHOP BOYS More than a dream
*RONAN KEATING Time after time
*ROYKSOPP feat. ROBYN The girl and the robot
*RUBIES feat. FEIST I feel electric (TieDye Remix)
*SAMY K vs. DIVA AVARI Fuckin' bitch (γαμ..... στα γέλια με το τραγούδι, την Diva και το video-clip, δείτε το εδώ)
*SARAH GRIMALDI I will find you (Thomas Schwartz radio edit)
*SASHA SON Love (Eurovision 2009-Lithuania)
*SONO Keep control plus (Fedde Le Grand mix)

*SORAYA La noche es para mi (Eurovision 2009-Spain)
*SUSANNE GEORGI La teva decisió (Get a life) (Eurovision 2009-Andorra)
*SYNDICATE pres. SONIC PALMS On the beach (Bigroom Edit)
*THE RAVEONETTES Black/White
*VOODOO & SERANO Sunglasses at night
*YEAH YEAH YEAHS Zero
*YOHANNA Is it true? (Eurovision 2009-Iceland)
*WALDO’S PEOPLE Lose control (Eurovision 2009-Finland)
*ΑΝΝΑ ΒΙΣΣΗ Από μακριά κι αγαπημένοι
*ΕΛΕΝΑ ΠΑΠΑΡΙΖΟΥ Θά’μαι αλλιώς
*ΕΛΕΥΘΕΡΙΑ ΑΡΒΑΝΙΤΑΚΗ Άσε με να σε μισήσω
*ΜΥΡΩΝΑΣ ΣΤΡΑΤΗΣ Πάνω απ’όλα
*ΝΙΚΟΣ ΚΑΡΒΕΛΑΣ Σωσίβιο
*ΝΙΚΟΣ ΖΙΩΓΑΛΑΣ Δρόμος του μεταξιού

ALBUMS OF THE MONTH
*Dimitris Papaspyropoulos Presents TURNING POINT (various) (9)
*Νίκος Ζιώγαλας ΠΕΦΤΩ ΨΗΛΑ (έντεχνο) (8)
*Natalia WISE GIRL (pop/rock) (8)
*Ronan Keating SONGS FOR MY MOTHER (pop/easy listening) (8)
*Bodies Without Organs BIG SCIENCE (pop) (7.5)
*Sarah Brightman SYMPHONY: LIVE IN VIENNA (classical/opera) (7.5)
*Lili & Susie NU OCH DA: DET BASTA MED (pop/disco) (7.5)
*Manic Street Preachers JOURNAL FOR PLAGUE LOVERS (rock) (7)
*Au Revoir Simone STILL NIGHT, STILL LIGHT (indie pop/alternative) (7)
*Jasper Erkens THE BRIGHTER STORY (rock/acoustic) (7)
*Μύρωνας Στρατής ΤΩΡΑ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΑΛΛΙΩΣ (pop/rock) (6.5)
*Yeah Yeah Yeahs IT’S BLITZ! (rock/electro) (6)
*Lene Marlin TWIST THE TRUTH (pop/acoustic) (6)
*Marie Digby BREATHING UNDERWATER (pop) (6)
*Katerine Avgoustakis OVERDRIVE (pop) (5)

YOU’RE HOT

*H SUSAN BOYLE από το Britain’s Got Talent απέδειξε πως αν έχεις φωνάρα, ακόμα και μουστάκι και φρύδια-Καραμανλή να έχεις, θα κάνεις αίσθηση, αυτή είναι η μαγκιά! Μπράβο της!!!

*Είχα την τύχη να δω πριν λίγες μέρες τo special concert της ΕΛΕΥΘΕΡΙΑΣ ΑΡΒΑΝΙΤΑΚΗ στην «Ιερά Οδό», όπου παρουσίασε μερικά νέα κομμάτια από το πρόσφατο εκπληκτικό της album, καθώς κι αγαπημένα παλιά. Για άλλη μια φορά με μάγεψε, ακόμα κι αν ήταν η πέμπτη ή η έκτη φορά που την βλέπω live, γιατί μερικές αξίες είναι απλά κλασικές.
*Η αγαπημένη μου ΑΝΝΑ ΓΟΥΛΑ, διασκευάζει με επιτυχία την κλασική επιτυχία “Eye of the tiger”, δείτε το «Μάτι του τίγρη» εδώ!
*Δυο λατρεμένα μου tracks βγαίνουν επιτέλους σε single, PET SHOP BOYS “Did you see me coming”, και LILY ALLEN με το πολυσυζητημένο “Fuck you”!
*Μου άρεσε πολύ το νέο video της ΤΑΜΤΑ για το «Κοίτα με». Απέδειξε πόσο καλές επιλογές κάνει στα videos, singles, albums, εμφανίσεις. Γι’αυτό και έχει τόση επιτυχία και το αξίζει! Και του χρόνου την θέλω δαγκωτό για Eurovision. Δείτε το video εδώ!

AND YOU’RE COLD

*ΠΕΓΚΥ ΖΗΝΑ: Την «είδε» Lady GaGa στο video για το «αριστουργηματικό» νέο της τραγούδι «Αναθεώρησα». Μήπως να αναθεωρήσει γενικώς κι αντί για το μικρόφωνο να πιάσει το σφουγγάρι να πλύνει κανένα πιάτο? Κι ας τραγουδάει στην κουζίνα, τουλάχιστον εκεί θα την ακούνε μόνο οι γείτονες.

*ΕΛΛΗ ΚΟΚΚΙΝΟΥ: Την συμπαθώ την κοπελιά, in fact την βρίσκω και ιδιαίτερα sexy, αλλά το νέο της τραγούδι «Πάμε ξανά» είναι αντιστρόφως ανάλογο του sex appeal της, είναι για τα μπάζα! Αυτός ο Κοντόπουλος μήπως να ξαναγράψει όταν θα έχει έμπνευση?
*ΕΥΡΥΔΙΚΗ & ΔΗΜΗΤΡΗΣ-θέλω να γίνω ο τραγουδιστής των Placebo-ΚΟΡΓΙΑΛΑΣ: Το νέο τους τραγούδι «Όσο υπάρχει ο κόσμος αυτός» είναι ένα megamix των «Μια φορά», «Πιάσε με», «Χωρίς εσένα» και «Θέλω τόσο να σε δω», είναι 4 σε 1 δηλαδή, κάτι σαν τις προσφορές της εφημερίδας με τα DVD.
*EMINEM & BLACK EYED PEAS: Απογοήτευση τα νέα τους single, “We made you” και “Boom boom pow” αντίστοιχα. Εντελώς αδιάφορα κι ανέμπνευστα.
*ΛΟΎΚΑΣ ΓΙΩΡΚΑΣ: Είναι δυνατόν να χαντακώνουν έτσι το νικητή του X-Factor με ένα τόσο μέτριο single όπως το «Δε φαντάζεσαι»? Λες και θέλαμε κι άλλον Οικονομόπουλο, Καραφώτη ή Πετρέλη. Κρίμα γιατί το παιδί έχει καλές προοπτικές.

EUROVISION ATTACK!
Να μη δώσω κι εγώ τους βαθμούς μου στα φετινά euro-τράγουδα? Feel free να κάνετε κι εσείς το ίδιο άμα γουστάρετε! Just for fun!

1 point: FRANCE “Et s’il fallait le faire” Patricia Kaas
2 points: SLOVENIA “Love symphony” Quartissimo feat. Martina
3 points: DENMARK “Believe again” Niels Brinck
4 points: SWITZERLAND “The highest heights” Lovebugs
5 points: GERMANY “Miss kiss kiss bang” Alex Swings Oscar Wins!
6 points: ICELAND “Is it true?” Yohanna
7 points: LITHUANIA “Love” Sasha Son
8 points: SWEDEN “La voix” Malena Ernman
10 points: AZERBAIJAN “Always” AySel & Arash
12 points: NORWAY “Fairytale” Alexander Rybak

-1 point: UKRAINE “Be my valentine” Svetlana Loboda
-2 points: MALTA “What if we” Chiara
-3 points: BULGARIA “Illusion” Krassimir Avramov
-4 points: FYROM “Nesto sto kje ostane” Next Time
-5 points: THE NETHERLANDS “Shine” The Toppers
-6 points: SERBIA “Cipela” Marko Kon & Milaan
-7 points: LATVIA “Probka” Intars Busulis
-8 points: CZECH REPUBLIC “Aven romale” Gipsy.cz
-10 points: MOLDOVA “Hora din Moldova” Nelly Ciobanu
-12 points: RUSSIA “Mamo” Anastasia Prikhodko

Conservatives THINK They Get Colbert...

So apparently when conservatives watch the Colbert Report, they think Colbert actually means what he says. Are you guys serious???

Ohio State University did a study that says that conservatives think that Colbert only pretends to be joking, but really means what he says. Talk about a bunch of people who don't get comedy and satire.

I suppose that they don't grasp the fact that Stephen Colbert's routine is based on conservative asshat, Bill O'Reilly. Of course, he's also goofing on the whole bunch of conservative wingnuts who lose their minds over all-things liberal.

And don't they know that Stephen Colbert -- the man, not the character -- has admitted that he's a Democrat? Duh...

I suppose this means that he really IS against gay marriage...

Humble pie

Cheers to Breezy for hookin' me with a copy of J-Stalin's Gas Nation album which i got through today. I hereby take back the time on Fat Lace when i sniffily suggested that The Jack Artist would've benefited from more Husalah and Ap.9 appearances and less verses from people like J-Stalin as Gas Nation is a solid collection of Bay slappers and low-key Mob musik.

These are the 2 cuts i'm really feelin', both of which are far more entertaining than this Barcelona vs. Chelsea match. Messi? Poor man's Dean Windass.

J-Stalin - My N*ggaz



I used to play Madden 'til the sun came up
look, momma, i'm a star now, your son done came up

J-Stalin - Brand New Jordans



Homie, i got the number 2s mixed with the 9
potna, they so clean they can be seen by the blind

What Cassie chooses with her hair!

TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT SAID HER CUT WAS HOT/BOLD/BEAUTIFUL/DOPE . . . how's it looking now?

See? This is what I'm talking about.

CASSIE, DO YOU FEEL LIKE A ROCKSTAR NOW, MY DEAR?

Williamsburg . . . KESH!!!

Alright, so yesterday was Sunday. And boy was it great outside. New York hit a 90 degree hot weather and gosh I was not about to miss the beauty that is the sun. SO I decided to help my schools radio station with their booth for my schools LIU Day, where all the incoming freshman get tours and just enjoy their visit and their new school!

So I was type bored, my feet were hurting because the flats I was wearing were just bothering the crap out of me. So I called up my homie, Latoya (Chick in the photo) and she told me she is going to be around the area anyway, so when she got here, we had FUN! Tons.

Alot of other things happened, but let me fast forward. We decided to go to Williamsburg. Why? Because my fave designer/DJ, KESH, was there having a one day / last chance street sale! She was selling all of her stuff because she's leaving NYC for good on thursday. How can I pass up the opportunity to meet her?! Are you bonkers? Shite. We went, dammit, and we had fun! Kesh is adorable. She is. For some odd reason, I thought she had a big head. But when i saw her, her head was quite miniscule! She was sitting down on a towel with black ankle socks, leggings, this poncho / tube top outfit on and her hair had grown at the sides, but I was still able to make out her heart tattoos. I wish I could have had a full blown conversation with her, but when i walked up to her, I said hi, that I'm obsessed with her blog and how cool she is . . . she wanted to talk but she said that she was feeling really sick. She was sniffly, weak and I felt bad! So I told her to chill and that I would someday laugh it up with her. She giggled and said to enjoy her sale and just ask her questions.

I also met Contessa, her BFF. She is AWESOME!!!! OMG! I lurve me some Contessa! She was so lively and sweet and was making bargains with us . . . she's great.

So I couldn't really find anything to buy in the department of clothes. But. BUT! I DID buy Kesh's old wallet for $3! And I lurve it with the passion. I threw my Hello Kitty wallet away and I now adore my Kesh wallet. So ha. Sorry Kitty. Your 9 lives are done!

So while that wallet was being bought ,there was this hot ass vintage jacket that I was begging Latoya to buy. She liked it, but she felt she could find a better jacket at another vintage shop. I felt so disappointed. I wanted her to have that jacket. It was so . . . LATOYA-esque! But we left it alone.

OK, this becomes sad. I had no more money. Nothing. I had a few pennies, but nada. Latoya had a good amount of dollars, btu she couldn't waste it all. We became hungry and extremely thirsty. Plus it was hot, so you can imagine. Latoya mentioned that she hada $5 gift card for Starbucks, so we yelled Huzzah and started walking down Bedford in search of a starbucks. My feet started THROBBING. I needed to sit or eat or drink . . . it was bad! But while I was sullying, Latoya and I went to this shop that sells vintage shit, and they have these leather jackets for $40 or $20 . . . and its insane! They are so fxcking sexy! I was in love! We vowed to come back to this shop. Then we saw a CHEESE SHOP! IDK if you know this but I have a big obsession with cheese. I almost collapsed. I stared at it for about 5-10 minutes? Latoya started cracking up and tried to drag me from it. She succeeded. She's lucky that I love her so much, man.

SO! We had been walking for such a while, admiring Williamsburg, til we realized that there was no Starbucks! So we became bums: By removing our shoes and walking, going to a corner store, buying a $.50 soda, sharing it, and eating nasty $.25 chips. It was great. We were bums. Which is funny because some parts of Williamsburg are very bummy! So we felt in place! Gosh, being a bum for a day, lemme tell you. Its amazing. Latoya and I are lviign proof!

So we went home after a long day. I enoy my time with Latoya. Seriously, she is so fxcking fun. She knows Brooklyn like crazy, so she knows places. Which is great, cuz I'm tired of going to the same spots all the time.

SO that was my day.

HOW WAS YOURS?

debwa loves bad tats, part 378

it's been a minute, but I really want to post about an amazing book I just finished, the blind assassin, that I can't seem to shake off, so I think posting will help.

in the mean time, debwa loves bad tats.

introducing: loltatz.com (it kinda merges lolcats, obvi, and the fail blog)

ewwwww

this one is kinda sweet

and this is the best thing I've ever seen.

the most bizarre thing I've ever seen . . . (take a second.)

uhhhhhh

this makes me uncomfortable

debwa loves bad tats, part 378

it's been a minute, but I really want to post about an amazing book I just finished, the blind assassin, that I can't seem to shake off, so I think posting will help.

in the mean time, debwa loves bad tats.

introducing: loltatz.com (it kinda merges lolcats, obvi, and the fail blog)

ewwwww

this one is kinda sweet

and this is the best thing I've ever seen.

the most bizarre thing I've ever seen . . . (take a second.)

uhhhhhh

this makes me uncomfortable

Goodbye Texas -- And Take Oklahoma With Ya!

Douche bags like Gov. Rick Perry of Texas pretty much deserve what they are asking for. Perry brazonly spoke of his state seceding from the union during National Teabagger Day a couple of weeks ago, but all the sudden when the pig flu shows up on his state's doorstep, he gets on his knees and begs for the federal government's help -- how ironic! What's the term... all hat and no cattle?

Anyhow, if you need help packing your bags, Texas, just ask...

Something so spine tingling . . .

Have you ever been so affected by a movie that after the credits have rolled, you still sit there, on your couch or chair or whatever sitting utensil you used to feel comfortable on while watching the movie, just thinking about what you just saw? Well, honestly, if you reply 'No' then you're a big fat liar. One way or another, there is a movie out there that you just have the utter most devotion for. I'm not talking about the movie that you can't stop watching. I'm talking about the movie that makes you see things in different colors. Their real colors. I'm probably talking like a lunatic, but I feel justified to state that my color changing movie was "V for Vendetta."

It's one of those movies that you just know will be so interesting from start to finish, and in this case, it was. How exactly did it affect me, well, I'll let you know.

Life & Death. I see it in a different way now and how it connects to . . . Courage. People say they have it, but when the time comes, they exhibit weakness and anything but strength and their so-called courage. Then there are people who wouldn't dare call themselves courageous because they know that their outer being doesn't resemble someone with strength, but with weakness. See, because, they don't have much to hide, they live their lives so cautiously that bravery should never have to show up. And then there are those who are brave to their inner core, but have no reason to exhibit that courage when it is not necessary. Why should they when it's not needed? Now, that's just showing off. When it's time to be courageous, they will be head on and ready.

Maybe it's the way V has a way of captivating the viewers of the movie. His antics, his humor, his joy to beauty and such, his mask, his ability to make a person jump when he uses his swords and fighting tecniques, and his need to tell a story; to finish someone's unfinished work, or to finish the work of his own. Or maybe it's his sudden love for Evey; how she has made him see things as well in a different color. He found a friend, a lover, an ally in Evey, and he showed it to her. Maybe that's why I loved it so much. Yeah . . . that could be it. Or . . . maybe it could be the way Evey inspired me to be a courageous person. Her beauty inside and out . . . her honesty and loyalty to those around her. Her strength, her courage, her drive to finish what V left. Maybe . . . it could be the storyline . . . or the amount of symbolism portrayed in this film. Maybe it's the amount of gore and randomness in the film that really gets me, or the foreshadowing. It could be the whole thing, but whatever it is, it changed my way of thinking just a tad.

If a movie can do that . . . then it can do it all.

Jekyll & Hyde...Together Again (1982)

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that there are more than enough examples of stupid parody movies out in the world as it is?



As painful as it is for me to say this, it nevertheless comes to the fore of this review not only because of the subject for today, but also due to the fact that this epidemic of parodies can all be traced back as early and as simply as the late '50s/early '60s and the movies of Vincent Price.



Follow me on this; many rightfully believe that Price played more than his share of sinister characters in many a film, but he also lampooned those types of characters in several more movies (The Comedy of Terrors, Beach Party, The Raven, Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine), a practice which served him long and well later on, to be sure. Which then got others on the bandwagon, making fun of respected actors and their personae in a manner which came across as self-important and utterly ridiculous.



Somewhere along the way, however, it didn't seem to matter whether or not the lead actors in such enterprises were dramatically-respected, highly-regarded or even that well-known.



And a larger spectrum of films came into the fold as well - not just horror movies but... well... everything. Spy movies are a good example, since just about every one of these spy films released in the mid-to-late '60s was an outright spoof of the better-known James Bond series, and some even featured members of that series' cast in major parts (but never Sean Connery..his brother, maybe, but not Sean).



So it then came to be that other film-makers, stars and the like created films that had fun with the traditions of movies in general. Which led to films like The Big Bus (a '76 parody of disaster movies), The Kentucky Fried Movie (which parodied many movies and TV shows/ads in its 90 minutes or so) and a slew of other also-rans like The Boob Tube, Tunnelvision, American Tickler and many more that I know I'll kick myself for not remembering, but there was a whole glut of them, trust me.



By this time, Vincent Price was long forgotten.



Come the end of the '70s these films were still going strong, and it seemed that a new example of such cinema came out once every other weekend at the local theater, multiplex or drive in - just the thing for a struggling studio to cobble together, film and release to make a quick buck (like, pornos, for example). And in 1980 this genre had something of a renaissance thanks to the wild success of Airplane!, which stayed firmly in the realm of parodying disaster films like the earlier Big Bus, but also went off on unexpected side trips into the realms of From Here to Eternity, Jaws, Knute Rockne: All-American, vaudeville jokes and immolation.



This movie being funnier than it had a right to be, proved the success of irreverent, inconsequential humor and spawned not only a sequel but several other films from the same team of directors and writers (Top Secret!, The Naked Gun - itself spawned from a TV series, "Police Squad!", Hot Shots!), which all had their own degrees of success, sequels and so forth.



As with all other successes, however, also came ripoffs and copies of the same ideas, which is also Hollywood's bread and butter, it seems. Which is also why we were treated in the years after Airplane! to movies like Student Bodies, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Creature Wasn't Nice (aka, Naked Space) and many more lower-budgeted direct-to-video deals that littered many a video rental places shelves for years after; you know, those VCR tape cases in the "COMEDY" section that were all light blue and washed-out from being out in the sunlight too long. Those ones.



This brings us to Jekyll & Hyde...Together Again, and also to the minuscule legacy of an almost-forgotten ABC TV show called "Fridays". You see, "Fridays" came out in the early '80s and was supposed to topple long-standing late-night comedy king "Saturday Night Live" from its golden throne. It didn't but it did introduce some intriguing b-level comedians to the viewing public such as Melanie Chartoff, Bruce Mahler and John Roarke, and even some who went on to the proverbial "bigger-and-better" things like Rich Hall, Larry David and Michael Richards.



But then there was Mark Blankfield. In spite of vigorous comedic acting in various roles in "Fridays" and his manic reminder of a more spastic, geekier (and shorter) Jim Carrey, this poor guy has never gotten a break; he doesn't even have a Wikipedia listing.



He must have had something about him, however, because the same year that "Fridays" was canceled, Blankfield got the top-billed role in a comedy that promised to be his launching pad to those same "bigger-and-better" things that all his betters seemed to attain with their debut film. You know, like Garrett Morris, Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman...and yes, those would be perfect examples in this case.



How does this all tie in with what I started out my review with? It all fits, you see, since Blankfield starred in a comedy based on the Robert Louis Stevenson horror classic The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Hey, it's no stranger an idea than any of Price's cornier appearances in a Roger Corman-directed Edgar Allen Poe adaptation.



What is strange, however, is the idea to make a horror parody filtered through the Airplane! ideology with a heavy dollop of Cheech and Chong thrown in for good measure.



The story goes: at the hospital known as Our Lady of Pain and Suffering, Doctor Daniel Jekyll (Blankfield) is intent on creating a super drug that will make surgery obsolete and the human body self-repairing. During his experimentation, the good doctor, through events more contrived than in an average Porky's movie, snorts some of the latest powdered drug he has been testing with and turns into a sex-and-drug-crazed wild man who sprouts chest hair, jewelry, an extremely long pinkie nail and something else extremely long that he...oh, I can't say it; you can probably guess anyway, so just go with that.



As expected, this plays havoc not just with his professional life (he's slated to perform an important "total body transplant" on the world's richest man) but with his personal life since he is engaged to the pretty-yet-vacuous daughter (Bess Armstrong) of the hospital's chief doctor and his alter-ego is seeing a very cute/hot/empty-headed young lady named Ivy (Krista Errickson).



There are a boggling amount of jokes involving pain (hospital-incompetence pain, crotch-shot pain, head-stuck-in-a-car-sunroof pain, etc.) or sex (as should be expected, but with animals?), sometimes even pain AND sex, but even more that come straight from the ol' high-school locker room involving body parts, minorities, the height-challenged, the elderly, homosexuals, Asians, the British, nuns, black people, and even more that involve combining more than one of these topics at once. Guess I gotta give writers Monica Johnson, Harvey Miller, Michael Lesson and director Jerry Belson credit for multi-tasking, at least.



And speaking of the director, Belson is better-suited for his starting point as a TV-sitcom director, seeing as how every scene is set as if it were best-suited for commercial interruptions and editing-down for its time slot. Small wonder that for every scene that is funny there are ten or twelve that are just badly photographed, set up or framed. Just goes to show that every movie can't be another episode of "Mary Tyler Moore".



I mentioned Blankfield earlier, who at least tries every physical trick in the book to make people from the fall-down slapstick school laugh. As for me, I was more concerned that he was going to hurt himself while going for the guffaws. He puts one less in the mind of Buster Keaton and more of Gerald Ford.



But like I said, at least he tried. Bess Armstrong stands there and looks pretty but is more-or-less the window-dressing of this piece, and I know for a fact that she can be funny (just watch The Four Seasons and Nothing in Common for good examples of Bess in full comedic flower). Krista Errickson plays the air-headed bimbo quite well and makes an understandable object of desire, but never rises above what she does and comes across as nothing more than "The Sex Object" - she might as well have been a RealDoll for all this movie cared.



No one else's performance is worth mentioning herein, save for one. Tim Thomerson, the Grand Old Man of B-Movies, plays the suave doctor Knute Lanyon. All teeth, hair and resonant voice, Thomerson's performance makes him the textbook example of stereotypical swaggering confidence - albeit with a startling secret. And perhaps if you've seen his performance in the short-lived NBC-TV sci-fi series "Quark", you may already know what that is, but why should I spoil one of this movie's very few funny moments?



Overall, there are maybe one or two good things in J&H...TA (the above-mentioned Thomerson performance, the train trip to London, the very last scene) but everything else is a classic example of trying too hard, relying on childish humor and half-baked ideas and depending on one person to carry a whole movie from beginning to end - when it was all they could do to carry on a 7-minute TV sketch.



My apologies to Mark Blankfield; like I said, he gave his all but he was like the poor guy who tries to hang wallpaper while the room is crumbling down around him. There's not much use in it when nothing else is going to support him.



One would have to stop and think, though: what IF this was a vehicle for Vincent Price?



Well, for one thing, I'm sure he would have asked for a few rewrites.

JCVD + Dolph Lundgren = Awesome!!

While some people get all excited when they see the first still shot of the upcoming "Transformers" and "Iron Man" movies, seeing this picture is the one that got me all giddy. It's the first still for "Universal Soldier 3". Oh yeah!!


We're looking right there at Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren conspiring to kick some ass, baby! I'm a pretty big fan of the original film. I mean, how ofter do you see two major league actions stars go toe-to-toe in a movie?? Their egos are usually too big to be the guy who gets the beat-down so it rarely ever happens.

Looks like JCVD and Ivan Drago are going to reek havoc tag-team style this time 'round. I just hope this gem doesn't wind up going straight-to-DVD.

I CAN'T STOP BLOGGING ABOUT HIM!

Um . . . I love Andy Samberg, I've made that quite apparent.

Would you find me weird if I said that the end result of this skit turned me on because Andy can just . . . get it. He can get it, man.

Gosh he just pulled his head and . . . oooweeee.

TIDBIT: Watch "Hot Rod." One of my favorite movies ever.

Crystal Renn? Plus Size IS beautiful!

Sometimes I really do wish I were thin. Its an instinct I get when I see a guy I like check out a girl a good ten sizes smaller than I am, or when I'm looking through a fashion magazine and see an outfit that I adore, but at the sidebar seeing it say it only goes from S-L. It really is hard for a girl like me to fully accept the fact that I'm beautiful because I am different than everyone else. Especially when you have people all around you telling you to mold into something you either aren't comfortable with or something you just don't want to be. I'm not exactly proud of the way I look. There's a whole lot I could do. But, I do like being fuller than most girls. Gives me an advantage. I want to be more shapely and healthy, not thin. Note that I didn't say STICK thin, because there are many girls who are BEAUTIFUL without being too skinny, you know? I have to show them love. But anywho . . .

I get those days when I feel nothing can hide all the lard thats hugging my body. I hate thinking negative, but, once again, it's an instinct. Good point? I regain myself by thinking positive. But anyway, I found a way to really love the way I am, and that way is Crystal Renn. Who is she? Oh, man. You don't know her? You're about to. She's beautiful. And I mean, stunning. Her look is so fresh and vintage. Its so innocent yet burlesque. She's so fxcking cute that I love looking at her. She's plus size. She's thicker than most models. She's got curves unlike most models. And she's stomping stereotypes to the ground. She's 22, married, and from New York (thats my girl!). She started modelling at 14, and she's just like all of us. She was told to lose 10 inches off her waist. That is hell. She went crash dieting and all that and finally lost the weight: she became 96 lbs. at the age of 16! That poor girl, huh. "I never felt sexy at all," she said back in an interview with People Magazine. "I didn't have my period for three years, my hair was falling out, my skin was a wreck . . . I was hurting in a bad way." Finally after one day spending 8 hours ina gym, she realized that she wasn't happy and something had to be done. So she went to her agent and told him how she felt. That's when he mentioned plus size modelling. From that, she became more health smart and regained 70 lbs. the healthy way. After that, she was getting jobs like crazy. Modelling for Dolce & Gabbana, German Vogue, Harper Bazaar (she was the cover girl!) and Elle . . . She's an inspiration. If you pick up the latest issue of Glamour with Miley Cyrus on the cover, you'll see her bathing suit spread from pages 197 to 201. Gorgeous.

There are tons of plus size models out there breaking down these barriers and when I see them, I just melt with happiness. Its people like Crystal Renn and Jill Scott, a woman I find so beautifully pure inside and out, who make me feel great about myself and sorry for the women who think that being skinny is the way to go. Its all about being healthy, isn't it?

Great songs from forgotten rap albums part 3

CPO - Homicide



CPO - CP Osis



I've already pontificated about this group here but this LP has many a banger on it and i'm hereby launching a rap-nerd reappraisal campaign in an attempt to catapult these guys into the upper echelon of pre-G Funk Cali' gang$ta rap groups alongside NWA, Compton's Most Wanted and Above The Law.



Facemob - Tales From The Hood



Facemob -Bank Robbery



There be gold in them there post-The Diary, pre-The Fix hills including the 1996 group album Scarface assembled with Devin, DMG, Smit-D, 350 and Shi-Ray. To all intents and purposes this was actually a DMG album with a bunch of verses by 'Face, Devin et al but it's none the worse for that and when you add ominous panoramic Rap-A-Lot production which Mike Dean had his mitts all over then we have ourselves a gem of an album. These are the best 2 tracks from it with Tales From The Hood being particularly great.



Mob Style - Gangster Shit



Mob Style - Rough



To the casual rap listener this album will probably raise a shrug but to Ageing Harlemites and a few hundred worldwide rap-geeks from the corners of London, Tokyo, Amsterdam and Wrexham this is a holy grail. Azie Faison's ensemble with Gangster Lou, Pretty Tone and Whip Whop were the first real gang$ta rap group from NYC and were briefly involved in a beef with NWA as Mob Style accused NWA of being studio gangsters with Eazy E sending a few lyrical jabs in retaliation. Gangster Shit is their most known tune as it featured on the Brucie Bee mix disc of the Paid In Full soundtrack and a very young Cam'Ron namechecked it in his loveletter-to to-Mob Style verse on I Remember When back in his C.O.C days. Rough is yet another example of how you can't go wrong with an Isaac Hayes sample.



Young Bleed - I Couldn't C It



Young Bleed featuring Da Youngtymaz- No Disrespect



Young Bleed's Ballz And My Word debut was a regional success when it came out in '98 and has achieved cult-classic status for rap-nerds in the years following by being the one No Limit Records album even the harshest critics of that label actually dig, but the follow up set My Own from 2000 is a far more consistent affair as Bleed is freed from the shackles of the standard No Limit album blueprint to get loose and do his own thang. Whenever i see or hear the phrase Country-Rap i immediately think of 2 things : Pimp C's adlibbing at the end of Belts To Match and the bluesy twang and Louisiana drawl of I Couldn't C It by Bleed.

Greatest movie scenes ever part 6

What's a fella to do when the scene from Django where our eponymous hero whips the gatling gun from his coffin and mows down at least 40 of Colonel Jackson's men into the sea of mud that make up the town's streets isn't on Youtube and that scene from Carry On Behind where everybody ends up with their arses out due to glue on the seats after the stripper from the super-8 movie Kenneth Williams accidently shows at the start turns up at the holiday camp entertainment night to strut her stuff is on there but the twat who uploaded it has disabled the embedding link? Why, he does the only thing he can and retreats into the comforting arms and bosom of another scene from The Wanderers.



Witness Joey Wanderer schooling Perry on the various high school gangs found in the packed corridors on the way to class. Whatchu know about 27 guys all with the last name Wong? Find out here. You've seen them bloody wops, right? You've seen 'em on the telly coming on as late substitutes who score with their first kick of the ball in two successive games only to then be completely ineffective when they're given a start in an F.A Cup semi-final on sunday, right? Well, them bloody wops use the bulk of this particular scene to trade racial insults in class with the school's main Black gang before a brouhaha and ruckus ensues which ends with both gangs agreeing to resolve their differences with a good old fashioned spot of fisticuffs after the weekend football game. TV nerds will notice that Clinton Stitch is a young Omar White from Oz, although Clinton is the complete antithesis of that over-zealous bitchmade lickspittle Omar.

Heltah Skeltah - Da Art Of Disrespekinazation