The Most Perfunctory Ending In Motion Picture History, Period.

We've all been there; a movie is dragging, nothing's happened in the last six reels and the acting is about like watching bales of hay drying in the sun. Zip, zilch, nada.

Then the moment comes for the grand denouement, where everything is to be wrapped up and the action picks up 10-fold. But...does it?

No. It just causes confusion, anger, nausea, dizziness, diarrhea and vomiting. If you're lucky.

The examples of this are endless and we all have our own personal examples of this horrid phenomenon. As do I:

Mine is Time Walker; you remember, I reviewed back when the earth cooled and dinosaurs once roamed free. But seriously, it came out in 1982 and...oh heck, you can read all the details by clicking the "archives" link on the right. But THIS is what really sends me over the edge to pure seething hatred - its ending. In the last 90 minutes or so, nothing of consequence happens, then...THIS.

So here it is, such as it is:



Y'see?!! See what I mean??!! ARRGHHH!!!

There. I'm vindicated. Dope out.

-TGWD