Foreign Poster Atrocities #24

Just in time for the Dope-A-Palooza, here we go with another episode in the long-running series that has been running longer than I ever expected it to be.

In fact, I think I shocked co-Atrocity commentator Jeff with this too; he didn't think he'd have to be conjured this long his own self.

So anyway, tally ho and yoinks; here's installment #24.  Away!

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TGWD - Believe it or not, we got a request for this one. 

JEFF - We did?

TGWD - Yep; they said we ought to do this poster, since we have so much luck bringing the defects of the artistic world to light.

JEFF - Nice of them to e-mail a suggestion to us.

TGWD - Well, actually it was delivered to me on this note here.

JEFF - The one around that rock?

TGWD - Yep, found it thrown through my window last night.

JEFF - Hand delivery.

TGWD - Gonna haveta find a different carrier.

JEFF - Oh well, fan mail is fan mail.

TGWD - Well, on to Raiders of the Lost...

TGWD - Hmmm...

JEFF - Apparently in this movie, an arc welder's gone missing.

JEFF - Or they've misplaced the arc of a diver.

TGWD - Effortlessly.

JEFF - Someone call Indiana Steve Winwood.

JEFF - Oh no; someone killed Papa Smurf!

TGWD - Death by ear stick.

JEFF - See what happens when you shove the Q-Tip in too far?

TGWD - Then the Tidy-Bowl Man's trying to make a daring escape off the Q-Tip end....

JEFF - But he stops, wondering if he should kick Yul Brynner's head on his way.

TGWD - Why not; Virginia Gilmore would have.

JEFF - And apparently Yul is guarding The Amazing Gilded Pillsbury DoughBoy.

JEFF - Go ahead and tickle him...he won't flinch or nothin'.

TGWD - And at least they baked him to a golden brown.

JEFF - Looks like they baked the whole poster to a golden brown.

TGWD - Methinks the artists were pretty baked themselves.

JEFF - You know what; the only accurate thing in this whole poster is Indiana Jones himself.

TGWD - The big one or the tiny ear-swinger over...

JEFF - The big one.

TGWD - Gotcha.

JEFF - Given Rolls Royce's usually high standards, I'm surprised that they got an artist in there that knew what Harrison Ford looked like.

TGWD - Theory.

JEFF - Okay.

TGWD - They outsourced the Indy part of this poster...

JEFF - Yeah?

TGWD - Then Rolls Royce's line boss came in, saw it with the Indy head only and said, "No no, that is not how we roll - our clients are expecting shoddy workmanship.  Get out of here and take your professional craftsmanship with you!"

TGWD - Afterwhich they called in a couple of janitors who kind of heard about the movie once - five years ago - to finish it.

JEFF - "Hey, was Yul Brynner in this movie?"

TGWD - "Sounds good to me; Crayola him in there!"

JEFF - "What's Yul look like, anyway?"

TGWD - "Oh, just draw a thumb with a face on it."

JEFF - "And how do you spell 'Ark'?"

TGWD - "Will you stop with the questions?  We got two hours to finish this - just spell it like it sounds."

JEFF - "Okay, I...oops!"

TGWD - "Watch it! You spilled blue ink on the canvas!  That ain't never gonna come out!"

JEFF - "I'm sorry...say, was there a blue guy in this movie?"

TGWD - "There is NOW."

JEFF - You know what the saddest part is about this poster?

TGWD - Besides the mother-lovin' snake coming out the mother-lovin' mouth of mother-lovin' dead Papa Smurf?

JEFF - The big ad for Rolls Royce at the bottom corner.

TGWD - All the boys love Zongo Lane.

JEFF - Good, now we know where to send OUR fan mail to THEM.

TGWD - Got the rock ready?

JEFF - Yep.

TGWD - Let's go.

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I know, it'll be hard to top this one, but we'll try.

Dope (and Jeff) out.

- TGWD