Foreign Poster Atrocities #14

It's a good thing that I posted this when I did; people were beginning to think I forgot about their need for a bad art fix.

Not me, friends. Not me.

And back from his tour of Ishtar, here is co-poster-insulter Jeff to help me out.

So let's go-go-go.

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TGWD - Ladies and gentlemen, ad salesman of the year for our northwest district, Mr. Jaani Dushman. (applause)

JEFF - And this award goes to Jaani for best costume at our annual Halloween party: the half-vampire/half-blank piece of paper.

TGWD - I think we've found a poster artist who is giving less than 40%.

TGWD - Take too many breaks during a deadline, you have to turn in what you have finished. That's the way it is in Bollywood.

JEFF - Maybe it was Union rules; the publishing company refused to contribute to the artist's mandated dues, so he only did what he had to then took a coffee break.

TGWD - Which he's probably still taking.

JEFF - So this isn't Impressionism, then.

TGWD - You call it Impressionism; I call it laziness.

TGWD - Tomato / tomatoe.

JEFF - See, you're always jumping to the conclusion that, with posters like this, they were done this way because the artist was lazy, was stupid, was run over by bulls, stuff like that.

TGWD - Yeah...?

JEFF - I put to you that this is part of the plot of the movie.

TGWD - Go on....

JEFF - This movie is about a vampire named Jaani Dushman...who can turn invisible.

TGWD - That would explain his smile.

JEFF - "Ha-ha! Can't stake me now, sucka! Try and find me now, Van Helsing!"

TGWD - I think that's a little too creative for what we have here.

TGWD - It's like they were trying their darndest to paint Count Floyd then they realized they had no idea what Joe Flaherty looked like, so they quit.

JEFF - This is so unlike our other "artists"; even when they had no idea what they were doing, they went ahead and finished anyway. Like South Africa.

TGWD - They tried.

JEFF - Italy.

TGWD - They really did.

JEFF - Mistakeastan.

TGWD - This guy....

JEFF - He didn't.

TGWD - More than anything, I feel bad for poor Daani.

TGWD - Daani didn't ask to be half-finished.

JEFF - I'm sure Daani never intended to be something that looked like an art project for the ADHD class.

TGWD - Can you imagine if ALL movie posters were like this?

JEFF - Charles Foster Kane would be motioning behind him at a blank picture.

JEFF - E.T would be pointing over the Earth at nothing.

JEFF - Marty McFly would be stepping out of an empty area where a car should have been.

JEFF - Forrest Gump would be sitting on half a bench.

JEFF - The Breakfast Club would be missing Anthony Michael Hall.

TGWD - Was he in that? I forgot. I know Judd Nelson was.

JEFF - And Jaani would be right there, nodding, saying, "Yeah. I know. I'm right there with ya, man."

TGWD - Because Jaani was also unfinished.

JEFF - Uncared for.

TGWD - Unloved.

JEFF - Un-thought-through.

JEFF - Just plain undone.

TGWD - The Guess Who notwithstanding.

TGWD - Oh. Mistakeastan.

JEFF - Yeah?

TGWD - I see what you did there....

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Wondering what mysterious locale our next Atrocity will take us to? Keep that inquisitive pose going till next time, pally.

Dope (and Jeff) out.

- TGWD