Nice Definitions

School:  A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 

Life Insurance:   A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:   A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. 

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. 
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of  the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of  either" 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that  everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work. 

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 

Father: A banker provided by nature. 

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got  caught. 

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

Office:  A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you  actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions. 

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of  when  dead