And The Winner Of The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) IS...

Okay, the time has come, TGWD said, to talk of many things; of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax, of cabbages and kings, of why I prattle endlessly when you want to know who won this thing....

Uh...ahem. Yes, okay - you've all waited long enough to hear who won this, and as is my word, I shall now announce the winner of the drawing for The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing (2nd Edition).

(drawing from an unseen hat of names)

The winner is...

(drum roll)

Simon of Four Of Them.

Jeez, first you win a measly LAMMY and now this, too? Yarsh!

Anyway, congrats to thee, Simon. I'll e-mail you to get the mailing info to which to mail your fine swag.

But first, some unfinished business....

To my fine four runners-up - newest member Holly of Holly's Horrorland, yours is a fine site and I'm sorry your name wasn;t drawn but this was only the first contest of mine you entered; please don't be embittered by this tragic loss.  Your heart will go on. Brother-In-Films Jason of Invasion Of The B-Movies, you know I dig ya and the cuckoo-nutty thing you do, bro, but the stars just weren't aligned for you this time out. We'll do lunch sometime. Other newest member Justine of Justine's Halloween, I think you have the soul of a champion and will go on to win a contest such as this in the not-to-distant future - maybe even the Publisher's Clearing House! And dear pal and arteeste Alex of Film Forager, you know how cool I think you are but hey...maybe you'll strike gold next time!

And now, I better find a nice box in which to mail some swag out in...heads up, Simon!

Okay, that's the prize-winning this time out, kiddies; now I gotta figure out how to top this NEXT year! Hmmm....

Dope out.

- TGWD

(IMMEDIATE EDIT - Uhh...that is, I would if I even had her e-mail address!  Okay, fine; Simon, if you're even out there, just e-mail me, will ya?  If you need, Alex can get you my e-mail address...I don't wanna blurt it out here for everyone to see and jeopardize my cover. And again, congrats.  Sheesh....)

And The Nominees For The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) ARE...

Alright, the time is nigh where the nominees for eligibility are nigh, esteemed colleagues.

That's right; The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) process has come to the point where being up for consideration has ended, and now it'a just a matter of reading off the names.  

Which is where we are now, co-ink-a-dinkally.

Therefore, the eligible nominees for the aforementioned swag ready for awarding in The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) are: 

SIMON of FOUR OF THEM (fourofthem.blogspot.com)

HOLLY of HOLLY'S HORRORLAND (hollyshorrorland.blogspot.com)

JASON of INVASION OF THE B-MOVIES (invasionofthebmovies.blogspot.com) 

JUSTINE of JUSTINE'S HALLOWEEN (justineshalloween.blogspot.com)

ALEX of FILM FORAGER (filmforager.com)

Five pristine nominees.  Five individuals all a-jonesin' for the chance at some cool, righteous stuff.  Their own cool movies, their own zombie toe tag and their own original artwork from TGWD.  Who could ask for anything more out of life?  Really?  I ask you....

Okay; that was the easy part.  Now I shall have to get the names of these nominees in a receptacle of some sort, shake 'em around and draw out one...and that lucky one will be the winner of the stuff in question.  The winner will be posted here before 8:00 PM EST here today, so the nominees may go about their business and have as many complientary drinks at Grauman's Chinese Theater as they like.  

Just don't pull an Rhys Ifans if you don't win, 'kay?

Alright.  Watch this spot until the big announcement, kids, and good luck to every one of you!

Dope out.

- TGWD

Today Is The Deadline For The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition)

Okay; this is it, hosers!

Within the next few hours...or at least after the next few hours or so pass, I will be announcing the finalists for The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition)...and what a battle it's been, folks!

The sweat!  The Passion!  The Determination!  The....

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I'm just glad that we've already got one more finalist in on this now than there was for the loot last year (though admittedly, the loot last year was kind of painful, amirite here, Alex?).

CLICK HERE FOR A FINAL CHANCE FOR YOU TO ENTER AND ALSO TO SEE WHAT THE SWAG IS ONE MO' TIME.

Here's how it will go down; after 11:59 PM tonight (MY time), I will announce who the finalists are for the stuff, and then before the end of the following day (that's Sunday, if you're not from around here), the grand poobah fancy-schmancy winner person will be announced, prepared for their walk down the Hall of Shame (FAME!  I meant "fame", of course...fame.) and claim their swag.

Their treasure.

Their loot.

Their stuff they're going to be building a personally-designed plastic case in which to display it all in.

So hurry up and enter if you haven;t already.  There's still five-or-so more hours in which to get in on this!  Head for the mountains, obey your thirst, put an ice cube in and get a snowcone out...okay well, maybe not that last one, but get in on The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) and be a winner!

GET THAT GUY OUTTA HERE!

(ahem...) Uh...Dope out.

- TGWD

HEY! There's Still Time To Enter The Contest!

Hey you!  Out there on the 'Net!  Feelin' lonely, feelin' wet, can ya hear me??

Good, then I can tell you that there is still time to enter The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) and win some sweet ever-lovin' stuff - in fact, even moreso than last year's contest, seeing that now we have THREE prizes for the lucky winner!


Right now, we have three contenders for the grand prize of Swag Mountain, but surely there's a couple more of you kids out there who want to win these great , braggable items!  So go again to the red title above and click it to review the stuff up for swag-grabbin' and follow the easy contest rules to enter!


Again, deadline for entry is this coming Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 11:59 PM, and I even have a countdown clock there on the right side, over there, to let you know when it's looming closer (neat, huh?).  Anytime is the right time for winning, but since we have a timeline for this particular winning, now is the time to act!  So act, already!

I'll be looking to draw your name from the magic Swag Bag, so ask yourself: wouldn't you love to win a 4-movie pack of classic cult movies, a zombie toe tag AND some original artwork from yours truly?  You bet your sweet bippy, should be the answer.  So click above and get to it!

See you in The Winner's Circle!

Dope out.

- TGWD

It's The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition)

Feel like winning?

Well, are YOU in luck!  Because it is now time for me to announce TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing (2nd Edition).

You may recall last year how well the contest went when I had people post their intentions on my Death 4 Told  review - and even with all the luck in the world, Alex from Film Forager still won (if "won" can be the right word?) the coveted disc and a diploma declaring her the winner of same-said unholy relic.

This time out, the prizes are bigger and...well maybe not better, but there's a couple of extra little trinkets along with the regular prize to celebrate my sixth year doing this incomprehensible garble of words I call a blog.

You all know me to be a man of few words - unless I'm reviewing a movie - so I will bring this thing around and tell you first of the cheap beads and trinkets I offer you folk for the honor of buying Manhattan Island...or in this case, to celebrate yet another year of this thing.

Ready?  The lucky winner of The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) will receive:

1) AMC Monsterfest Cult Classics Collection 1

Yes kids, this group of cult fave raves is all yours should you win, and even I love these movies, which must give you an idea as to what they're like, should you not be familiar with the titles.

And who WOULDN'T be familiar with titles such as The Atomic Brain, The Brain That Wouldn't Die, Carnival of Souls and Night Tide?  Two discs with two movies each, all in glorious black-and-white and each disc in pristine showroom condition.  Hey, I don't deal in carp here, gang.

Besides which, if you need to build up you movie collection, this is the perfect way to start!

 2) Your Own Pick-Up And Disposal Zombie Toe Tag

From the fine folks at T-Shirt Bordello, in association with 888wuzdead.com, here we have just the thing for the coming screaming zombie apocalypse.

This high-quality toe tag with the little round brown hole protector thing on the end (see that?) and durable cotton blend string all but says to the world, "hey, I got a zombie toe tag; whadda YOU got?"

3) Your Own Original TGWD Artwork

That's right, you can now proudly display your very own personal work of art, suitable for framing (if you have a 3" x 5" frame) from the same arr-teeste who gave the world such works as "The Jason" and "The Samara".  Now gaze in amazement at this latest discovered masterwork from his archives: "The Guyz".

Ahem:

[ART CLASS TEACHER] This whimsical piece gives showcase to three of the horror world's biggest names - Count Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and The Wolf Man - in a rare moment of levity.

Using Frankenstein's Monster as an anchoring post, Count Dracula flashes the viewer a coy, befanged smile as he gives us the Shaka Sign.

The Wolf Man, on his opposite side, couples the more traditional Peace Sign hand gesture with a pair of sunglasses one would imagine he had collected from a recent victim, probably a sun worshipper themselves or at the very least a tragic hipster who was deserving of an horrific death at the sign of a cursed pentagram-palmed lycanthrope.

And finally, Frankenstein's Monster stands at the center, a more serious look on his face counter-balanced by his hand making the more current urban symbol displaying some love for his Westside homies.  It is understandable since, the Monster being made from various body parts, some of him may indeed be from the Westside, therefore this gesture is thoroughly acceptable.

In conclusion, this unholy trio on creatures, so commonly associated with terrifying imagery in Hollywood part and present, display the more humorous aspects of their psyches in what must almost certainly be one of the lighter moments in their lives of torture, horror and abject death. [/ART CLASS TEACHER]

So there you have it - three classy prizes from yours truly for being such a good, loyal follower of this-here blog.  And all you have to do to qualify for this prize package is follow these easy-to-read rules:

* You have to be a follower of this blog (naturally).

* You must post your intention to be considered for eligibility in this post (this one here, the one you're reading now), along with your name and the name of your blog.

* You must agree to review at least ONE of the movies in the set being offered as a prize here.  Any one of them, doesn't matter.

All entries must be posted here by Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 11:59 PM to be considered for the drawing.

So what are you waiting for?  You feel lucky, punk?  Grab up your two tickets to paradise, get your tiger's blood flowing, sweep the leg, grab the gusto and snap into a Slim Jim: enter The Dope-A-Palooza Contest Swag-Winning Thing! (2nd Edition) and be a winner!

No, not Wiener...WINNER!

Dope out.

- TGWD

TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Mecha-Contest Winner IS....

Ah-ah-ah...not so fast. You didn't think it would be thrown at you in one big dollop, didya?

After all, I have to do THIS first:

To all three of you who chose to enter this contest to begin with: thank you all so very much for being part of this little contest and proving conclusively that there really is someone reading this blog; these hours of writing are not in vain!

Okay, enough prattle. The winner of their own autographed DVD of Death 4 Told and a genuine Certificate of Demerit is...

(drum roll)

Alex from Film Forager.

Congratulations to you, Alex - you are the big winner (in the figurative sense) and I will await your mailing address sent to your e-mail for where to send your prizes to.

Well. In conclusion, kids, this has been one heck of a Dope-A-Palooza. Many movies were reviewed, one or more posts every day and several observations projected and comments posted. Thank you, all of you, for your reading, your participation and your joining in the party festivities.

As for me; I'm taking a little break from all of this now. That's right - the post-a-day crap gets old for seasoned pros (ha ha) like yours truly. I will now go back to my old grind of posting whenever the heck I feel like doing it...but don't worry...a new episode of "The Adventures of BGR" will be posted tomorrow. After that, I'm pacing myself.

Happy last day of July, all. Dope-A-Palooza is now to bed...until NEXT year.

Dun-da-DUNNNNNNN.

Dope out.

- TGWD

TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Mecha Contest is OVAH!

And just like that, the contest is over.

See, you shoulda entered when you had a chance, shouldn't ya have? Huh?

We now have three challengers in the squared circle, all vying for the top spot...which in this case would be the bottom spot, but whatever. And those three are:

1) Matt at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby

2) Ripley at Four of Them

3) Alex at Film Forager.

So keep your blogs peeled, you three; I shall be notifying one of you which one will be the big wiener...I mean, winner of the most horrific cinematic experience since 1 Night in Paris.

I mean, of course, your own DVD of Death 4 Told: the movie that would make Uwe Boll do a facepalm.

But don't take my word for it. Well, do take my word for it, but take their words for it, too:

"Another day, another forgettable direct-to-DVD horror flick that makes me question why I even bother watching movies these days." - Mike Bracken, thehorrorgeek.com

"A very weak anthology film." - Mistress of Horror, horror-movies.ca

"It just doesn't deliver any chills, bloodshed, or originality..." - The Video Graveyard

"Everything in this movie has been done before and done better." - horrorview.com

See? I'm not the only one...!

So tune in tomorrow, fans. I'm going to bed. This Dope-A-Palooza stuff wears on a guy.

Dope out.

- TGWD

This Is The Last Day To Enter TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Mecha-Contest!

Hey out there!

What are you doing?!

Don't you realize that this is the last day to enter my contest?

What contest??! THE contest, man! The one in which you, the innocent reader who's done nothing to me enters for the chance to win one of the, if not THE, worst movie ever, that's all!

Why wouldn't you want a chance at that?

As if I should remind you, the signed DVD is of the movie Death 4 Told (2004), and you can read all about it here.

And as for the rules of the contest, you can read all about them here.

Relax, though; you still have till 11:59 PM EST tonight to get your entry in and then wait patiently till I make a decision. Right now this is a contest between two bloggers: Matt-suzaka of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby and Simon of four of them. Are you gonna let these two guys duke it out alone and be the ones who get all the fame and glory and, more importantly, win a movie that will make mere mortals run screaming into the night with confusion, disorientation and the need for fresh pants?

And it makes for a great trailer, too. Well, maybe not great but good.

Okay, maybe not good, but interesting.

Okay, okay - it's a trailer.

Alright, and it's NSFW. AT least it has THAT going for it.



Get to work. Enter the contest, you only have a few hours to prove your insanity...I mean, your worth.

Dope out.

- TGWD

A Lazy Sunday Post...

I have a lot to get done today, so I can't stay long. However, I did promise a post a day, so here we go:

Don't forget the BIG CONTEST GOING ON! You could win a copy of the worst film ever made! CLICK HERE and enter - you may be the (un)LUCKY WINNER!

Also, this is the last week of Dope-A-Palooza, and I want everyone to remember that there will be at least one more good post this week. Maybe even good enough to submit for a LAMB Award...maybe; don't wanna set myself up for too big of a fall.

Lastly, I'll try and get up another review today, so stay tuned for that. I only made the one movie, though, so it won't be of anything too awfully scarring. Relax.

Have a good Sunday, folks!

Dope out.

- TGWD

The Very First TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Mecha-Contest!

Hey, wanna do yourself some permanent neural damage and have a chance to win one of the rarest commodities even presented on this blog?

Then enter The Very First TheGreatWhiteDope's Mecha-Blog-Zilla Mecha-Contest!

Thousands will enter (yeah, right), only one will win!

You no doubt have already read my award-winning review of the 2004 direct-to-DVD modern-day classic Death 4 Told, starring Margot Kidder, Tom Savini and...me. If not, go read it and then come right back here.

I'll wait.

...

Back yet? Good.

Now, here is what you have to do: post a comment on the page for my Death 4 Told review - good or bad - with your name, your blog name and its addy for a chance to win THIS:

(announcer voice) Thaaaaat's right, TGWD: it's their very own copy of the classic 2004 fright-fest Death 4 Told, starring some of the biggest names in horror: Margot Kidder! Tom Savini! And so many more! This four-story anthology will leave you scared out of your wits and wanting to see it again and again! That's Death 4 Told! Dope? (/announcer voice)

Thanks, and not only will your copy be personally autographed by one of the actors of this piece (namely: ME), but you will also receive a genuine Certificate of Authenticity from this very website proclaiming you, the lucky winner, as an official hard-as-stone cinemasochist of the highest order. And trust me: ANYONE who wants to win a copy of Death 4 Told not only has my respect, they have my sympathy.

There is a three-way catch, though: 1) you have to reside in the Continental United States to be eligible, 2) you should have a blog of some type and 3) once you win this movie, you MUST post a review on said blog of Death 4 Told as soon as possible.

Because, if you care enough to win this, then I want to get a first-hand report as to whether or not it was worth it. I'm sure I already know the answer, but hey; them's the rules. Abide.

The contest will be open until Thursday, July 29th, 2010 at 11:59 PM EST. A winner will be chosen by random on Saturday, July 31st, 2010. Only one entry per person, please.

Well, what are you waiting for? You read the rules - get crackin'!

Dope out.

- TGWD