Natural Hair Community: Getting Out of Hand?

I went natural back in my sophomore year of High School, which was 5-6 years ago. When I did it, I wasn’t scared of the ridicule I would get for being the only girl without a perm as I used to be in 7th grade, which led to me getting a perm in the first place. I just wanted that crap of out my system. I felt bored with a perm, seeing as how I couldn’t do as much as I wanted. See, I had no idea what I could achieve with natural hair, but I thought to myself, “It has to be better and more alive than this.”

And it was. I had so much fun with my hair once my mother clipped off the permed ends. The poofs, the fro’s, the accessories, the cornrows and twists . . . I did whatever I felt like, and in doing so, it brought an attitude to me that has shaped me to become the person I am today. Fun, happy, full of excitement with a punch of eccentricity.

Around this time, I never knew there was a natural hair community. I was 15 years old, doing what I felt and loving it. I didn’t know there were blogs that banded together to better educate the hair we grew up with. I didn’t know people were testing pH balances, concocting deep conditioners and listing what oils went well with what. I was completely oblivious. And to this day, a part of me wishes I still was.

Now, don’t get me wrong. The natural hair community has become a community I’m happy to be a part of. I’ve learned quite a lot, met a lot of people, educated a lot of people, and so on. I’ve been able to bring curls to my hair, seen conditioners in a whole new light, and so on. But at the same time . . . I lost myself within the education.

There are blogs after blogs, YouTube gurus after gurus, doctors after doctors telling us one day one item is great, and the next day saying it’ll damage your hair. We’re using things such as henna, tea, and so on to bring shine and body and even growth to our hair. There are so many options that you begin to do SO MUCH with your hair, and where it becomes overwhelming. My mother would notice that the amount of products I bought would increase week after week. I’d be using her household items like Extra Virgin Olive Oil and her honey, and she would watch in dismay as I went ape shit trying to bring my hair to become, what? Healthy? Better than it already was?

My hair was fine before I embarked on this “make my hair that was fine before, HEALTHIER,” journey, which started off cool but has become tragic. I did what blogs advised me to do, but then another blog said different, and I wouldn’t know what to do! One day, I tried a product that I thought was working for me, but that ended up drastically breaking my hair, and ever since then it has been a rollercoaster for me to go back to the hair I once had that brought me happiness. Right now I’m suffering with High Porosity, and I’m weighing the option of cutting all of my hair or just leaving it and treating it.

Natural hair isn’t as difficult as it seems. Our hair needs moisture. Lots of moisture. Don’t use grease that clog the scalp that include petroleum, for it prevents moisture from coming in. Condition after you shampoo to bring back the moisture into your hair that the shampoo strips away . . . every blog/video will tell you the same thing. Yet it seems people keep trying to find something deeper, as if there’s a formula we’re hiding. It’s simple, if you understand it.

Taren916, a YouTube natural hair guru who I subscribe to, posted a question: Are Natural Hair Videos Boring? And to my surprise a lot of people said yes. Folks are complaining that natural hair blogs/videos are becoming lackluster with the same facts, same product reviews, same ways on how to co-wash, shampoo, deep condition, henna and all that jazz . . . people get it. They know what they need to do. Some have given up trying to do exactly what they’re told because they see it doesn’t work for them and see their way is better and more effective. Someone on YouTube said, “Once you know the basics of natural hair care, there's not a whole lot to say.”

I’m not blaming these gurus/bloggers. They simply learn something in which they want to share with anyone who has difficulties with their hair, or anyone who wants to spruce it up. That’s understandable, and we’re grateful that you care enough. But to those who are watching and reading and who are soaking everything in, we have to stop searching for more. People watching videos with gurus that don’t match their hair type and who get mad that their hair doesn’t turn up like theirs, people upset when someone raves about a product but see it does diddly squat for them . . .

It’s all so much. Not to mention there weren’t so many to begin with. There was a good handful that gave you enough info to get by. So now, there are numbers upon NUMBERS with the same details. For those who are new or transitioning, it’s all new to them, this natural hair journey. But once they get into reading numerous blogs and watching countless YouTube videos, will they become overwhelmed as well?

For naturals who have been in the game for years, at the end of the day, keep it simple. Don’t trial and error as much. If there’s a product you trust, trust it. Stick by it. Yes, it’s great to try new things but if your hair knows what it likes, then keep feeding it to your hair. Love it, nurture it. Treat it right. If there is ANYTHING a natural should go to bed knowing that is written in stone, is that MOISTURE IS A MUST. That’s it. Go with that. Create a simple regimen and run with it. For those who are new, learn the basics of how to treat your hair, and that's it. If you go in too deep, you'll go crazy.

As for me? A cut might be a necessity. Right now, I’m keeping my hair moisturized as much as possible. Co-wash every three days, deep condition once a week, whipped shea butter with essential oils so I don’t have to go crazy with which one I didn’t put in my hair, spray bottle filled with water, satin scarf on deck for bed . . . Nothing too drastic, everything simple. And I feel better, less stressed or uncertain. I’m building my accessory and scarf collection for when I get lazy, found a natural hair salon for when I want to trim my ends every 6-8 weeks . . . I’m smooth sailing.

And lemme tell you, it’s a relief.

How To: Head Wraps!

When it comes to protective hairstyles, I am such a noob. My hair has a mind of its own, so some parts are short, some long. Some straight, some curly. Surely enough, I can't keep up. So when I'm frustrated with it and I wanna put it away and shun it from society, I use a headwrap, which has become my best friend.

Here are some photos and videos of headwraps and how to them:

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THIS IS ME:

Unfortunately you can't see everything. Whiiiich sucks. But when I wear it again, I shall include a full pledged pic.

What Do You Think?

Your Mother & Your Hair

With many transitioning, born again, or long time naturals, the one problem they've had to face is acceptance, not only with themselves but with the people around them, including partners, friends and family. Going natural is one of the hardest decisions and experiences, especially when people are not behind you with your decision or don't like the outcome. I've read stories from many naturals on tons of Natural Hair message boards and post comments that have said their partners look at them different, their friends bet when they'll get a new perm in because they can't take the 'do, and even mothers who advise for their daughter to stay with the creamy crack because natural hair has to be curly and long and full of shine and bounce, and anything other than that isn't beautiful or good hair.

It's one thing to have a partner say that. The person you love all of a sudden finds something wrong with you that makes you feel free. A best friend? The person who's got your back? Obviously changed their mind. But a mother? The woman who raised you, loved you, gave you advice and taught you the etiquette of being a woman? Telling you that the hair she used to comb into pigtails and tie with ribbons is not the good kind? That's harsh.


With me, though? It was completely different. My mother was the one that encouraged me NOT to get a perm in 7th grade, when I was fed up with my classmates teasing me because I was the only girl that put her hair up in puffs or wore her hair out in afros. She said my hair was fine and that a perm would only solve things temporarily. But I didn't care. I wanted to stop the torment. So one Friday after school let out, she took me to her hairdresser. And I got that perm.


Three years later, as my hair became dark brown instead of remain its jet black color . . . As my hair became shorter and shorter due to the split ends . . . As my hair got thinner and thinner due to excessive combing . . . And as my kitchen became butchered, it was SHE who pulled me aside and said, "Cynthia. Look at this. What I tell you? You're hair's not the same."


That's right. It was my mother who convinced me to go natural, not the other way around. And I didn't object. I transitioned til my natural ends were long enough to put in a ponytail, and then she gladly snipped off my permed ends, and I was perm free.


No one objected to my natural hair, except an aunt who was natural herself, telling me my hair was out of control and I needed to tame it with a perm, or my father's best friend who used to pick me and my sister up from work, telling me my hair was too much. A hot comb or perm will do. Except for those ignorant folks in my life, I've had support from my partner (my boyfriend loves me hair. Except the grease lol, but he loves my hair and respects what I go through to keep it the way it is), my friends who tell me my hair is my pride and joy and it looks like so because it's always cute, and most importantly my family, who always comment on how thick and gorgeous my hair is. I've gotten my sisters to stop perming their hair (though my older sister uses texturizer and my little sister flat irons...Sigh! What can I say?). Even my mother, who's seen that from my 15 year old born again natural self up until now, that my hair has gotten better, SHE envies the natural transition. She would love to go back, but because of her job and her patience, she feels a perm is OK with her. Plus she keeps good care of her perm.


So to wrap this up, even if you had a large amount of support like I have or if you have the support of a pea, look within yourself to see if what you're about to do is right for YOU. Going natural again was a great decision. If you feel that way, go along with it.